Comments on: Please Don’t Engage Me

By: Floating Reflections

Floating Reflections — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:58:55 +0000

Well for various, non-dating reasons I have dropped most of my friends recently and not been very available on my cell either. Not had one person suspect that I am getting engaged. What am I doing wrong?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:06:09 +0000

One of my jobs is at a frum place with a bunch of women. I “do” my hair — not for a date– but when my mom gets upset at me for not doing it, when I have extra time in the morning, when I’m “in the mood…” but I still remember to tell them it’s not for a date.

And all that gossiping you said goes on at Touro- Reason #78 that I chose Brooklyn College over that place ))) and don’t regret it for a SECOND.

By: EndOfWorld

EndOfWorld — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:38:02 +0000

Honey, it don’t end even when you’re married. People just change their assumptions and start thinking that you’re pregnant. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like waving at someone and saying “Hello! Eyes are up here! Stop eyeing my stomach. I’m just fat, not pregnant.” ….forget it. Every time you decline to eat something/eat too much, they whip our their calenders and start calculating the due date.

By: Reminder « Bad for Shidduchim

Reminder « Bad for Shidduchim — Tue, 27 May 2008 17:33:35 +0000

[...] engagement. If anyone even harbored such suspicions, I refer you to this previous post about prematurely engaging friends. Being on vacation prevents a person from doing the things she usually does to avoid doing the [...]

By: Shira Salamone

Shira Salamone — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 20:27:57 +0000

1. a diamond engagement bracelet before the “official” engagement
2. a diamond engagement ring at the time of the “official” engagement
3. a gold wedding band under the chuppah/wedding canopy
4. a pearl necklace on the wedding day

Does anyone have any money left for tzedaka/charity?

By: Ezzie

Ezzie — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:48:57 +0000

I was merely pointing out that it’s not just a “yeshivish” thing.

By: Ariella Brown

Ariella Brown — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:36:57 +0000

Ezzie, you are way younger than my husband’s brother, so the bracelet was probably been fairly well established by the time you met Serach.

By: Ezzie

Ezzie — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 01:51:42 +0000

May be recent, but my “modern” sister is the one who told me to do it…

By: Ariella Brown

Ariella Brown — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:04:30 +0000

On the bracelet “tradition” . . . I would venture to say it is less than 15 years old. I take that date based on my own observation of siblings and friends. I don’t recall anyone from my age group and older getting the bracelet. But my husband’s younger brother did give a bracelet to his kallah, though I think that was just before they became engaged. I would guess that the bracelet extended from the fact that some Chassidim would not give a ring before the wedding but were still expected to present something. The fact that the bracelet does not need to be sized is another advantage. And this way, the kallah has everything covered — a bracelet, then an engagement ring, and a pearl necklace at the wedding. We almost forget about the wedding band.

By: profk

profk — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:42:42 +0000

I think Einstein had a formula for that Bas-Melech. E=mc2. Engagement equals missed calls squared.

By: Bas~Melech

Bas~Melech — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 22:34:24 +0000

I think that we need to change the criteria for rating the accuracy of engagement predictors. Instead of looking at the percentage of engagements predicted, the reliability should be determined by the percentage of predictions corroborated. Some people seem to think they have it down to a science because they said “I told you so” to the last 15 engagements; but never mind the 473 false alarms…

By: anonymous

anonymous — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 20:48:46 +0000

It’s amazing how each and every one of your posts hits it right on the mark. You state the obvious in a way that makes me think, “Yeah, she’s right…” For two nights in a row I wasn’t picking up my cell phone, and boy should u see the texts I got “Are you engaged?” “What’s going on?” A person is allowed to breathe without picking up their phone. I’m scared to leave my house without my phone without being “accused”. And you’re right, any random phone calls I get from friends I haven’t heard from in a while, the first question I ask is “Are you getting engaged?” So I guess I’m guilty of engaging friends myself. The best is when I call one of my friends in the morning and ask them “What are you doing tonight?” and I hear the silence at the other end – as if they think the next words out of my mouth are going to be “…cuz I want to invite you to my lechaim”, but the words are usually “cuz I wanted to know if you want to go to a shiur with me” or the like.
So yeah, you definitely hit it on the mark this time, but you seem to do that in every post.