There are milestones in singlehood. The first is when all your friends are getting married. Then you’re sort of left behind in the rush—except that you’re rushing more than anyone else. You have to get from vort to vort, shower to shower, wedding to wedding, and by the end of it all you’re as broke and exhausted as they are, but still single.
The next round I am in right now. That is the First Baby Round. Within the past two months I have congratulated no less than six friends on the birth of their eldest. And there are still a few more on their way. In this round, the single rushes from the balloon-and-teddy-bear store to the Kiddush to the bris to Children’s Place and then back to deliver the gift. At the end of this round you’re pretty tired and out of pocket, but at least you haven’t changed any diapers.
So what’s round three? Is it the upsherin rush? Or do you wait for bar mitzvahs?
You want to know what the next stage is? Dealing with all the friends you’re congratulating right now, driving you nuts with questions when you’re engaged.
B’karov etzlaich.
Comment by chanie — March 9, 2009 @ 1:05 pm
Umm may be third round will be them coming to your engagement, shabbos-kallah, wedding, sholom zochor, bris?
Comment by Dude with hat (aka BTS) — March 9, 2009 @ 1:39 pm
To be honest:
First you are shocked at the idea that your friends are getting engaged, then that becomes digestable, then they are all getting married and that’s tough but pretty soon you get used to that. First kid? eh- no big deal! My friends are all on the second kid…there’s always another step. IY’H we should all find the right one soon!
honest
Comment by honest — March 9, 2009 @ 2:28 pm
Honest, you skipped the step where you get shocked that *you’re* engaged, and that shock stays till a while after you’re under the chuppa. At least, as far as I can tell…
Comment by chanie — March 9, 2009 @ 2:35 pm
The second kid is a round of its own, and typically comes next. That’s when they go from playing house to really having a family. And just wait until they start sending their kid to preschool. I think of these “rounds” as a weeding process of sorts – Some friends leave your planet as soon as the ring hits their finger. Others wait until after the wedding. Some actually last through the first kid. But if you have a friend who’s sending that kid to preschool and nursing another one and you’ve heard from her within the last year or so — now that’s a friend who’s sticking around.
Comment by Bas~Melech — March 9, 2009 @ 3:15 pm
After reading this blog for sometime, i am wondering bc i dont think it is explicitly stated, do you want to get married? Sorry if that sounded harsh, I just cant pick up on it…and have a frilken purim.
Comment by Anonymous — March 9, 2009 @ 6:34 pm
Along with Bas-Melech–then next step is once they start having serious discussions about where to send their kids to school. Or when they buy a house.
Comment by anonymous — March 9, 2009 @ 6:40 pm
my friends are at the “oh my God there are no decent schools in brooklyn maybe i should move” round.
but i’m with bas-melech here…
Comment by little sheep — March 9, 2009 @ 6:53 pm
I was under the impression that “round” was something that bad4 (or the single) had to participate in….
Comment by chanie — March 9, 2009 @ 6:56 pm
I agree with Bas-Melech–round three is definitely the second kid, since “[T]hat’s when they go from playing house to really having a family”. Halevai the “next” round would be you/me/the single’s engagement, but it seems that you’re strictly talking about the single’s vantage point from the outside in this post.
Comment by confident atara — March 9, 2009 @ 7:03 pm
Mazel tov on the numerous simchos, btw.
Comment by NMF #7 — March 10, 2009 @ 2:35 am
You have WAY too many friends. 6 friends had babies in the last two months and more on the way? They get pregnant THAT quick or do you have MORE friends?
Comment by Patricia Batton — March 10, 2009 @ 4:42 am
Bad 4, ur invite for u yitzy’s upsherin will be in the mail in a few months…
Comment by MF #1 — March 11, 2009 @ 7:53 pm
I’d say round three is when they’re having second kids already and you’re like, “why can’t I just find someone already?! When is it gonna be my turn?”
Comment by YadaYada — March 11, 2009 @ 11:16 pm
Round 3 – You get engaged.
Round 4 – You get married.
Round 5 – You start talking to your women friends about sex.
Comment by Mark — March 12, 2009 @ 12:54 am
You are waaay out of cycle.
Comment by bad4shidduchim — March 12, 2009 @ 6:27 pm
Ok, ok, round 5 – you talk about it, but know what you are talking about.
Comment by Mark — March 13, 2009 @ 3:25 pm
Don’t think its different when you are married. There will always be friends at different stages than you. Right now, all of my friends either have their first kid or are single. So Im in a level of newlywed-ness I guess, and its all on my own.
Comment by AidelKnaidel — March 14, 2009 @ 6:58 pm
Enjoy it while it lasts, Aidel…soon you’ll be overwhelmed with kids, and missing the newlywed stage.
Comment by chanie — March 14, 2009 @ 8:57 pm
The next round is you finally getting married then preg all the while feeling like you’re never gonna catch up…
Comment by Miss Teacher — March 15, 2009 @ 5:57 pm
Oops – misunderstanding, Mark. The “out of cycle” was to the friend inviting me to her kid’s upsherin. You are, by contrast, merely out of line.
Comment by bad4shidduchim — March 16, 2009 @ 9:55 pm
chanie – when I didn’t have kids I didn’t appreciate it when I was told to enjoy it while it lasts.
Miss Teacher – at several points I felt like I’d never catch up, but I’m WAY past that now. Now I couldn’t care less about catching up (and I do have friends with several more kids than me…)
Comment by tesyaa — March 18, 2009 @ 3:27 pm