About Wacko iPod Dude

O  sent me this article about how women tend to give their dates nicknames, instead of referring to them by name. The article is all about “Why?”

Sometimes the nicknames are creative: The Crusader (super religious with a wild side in the bed), HGB (short for Hot Gym Boy), and The Meatball (round, stubby, and Italian). One woman told me, “one of my favorites is the guy my friend is dating now—he was formerly a bit of a slut, so we call him TRW, for The Repentant Whore.” Then there’s the self-explanatory: Hot Hat-Wearing Balding Guy, or Formerly Fat Chris. And the more generic ones that still serve their purpose: The Writer, The Brit, The Professor, SoCal.

I always thought it was because we’re all so secretive about dating, even when we’re oversharing. But I guess it’s not a Frumgirl thing.

I don’t have a nickname for every guy. To get one you need to stand out and warrant future referencing. Like Bowtie Guy and Pilot Boy.   There’s also Philosopher I, Philosopher II, and Philosopher III (no more philosophers!), Google Guy, Math Man, Poker Backer, Knucklehead, The Guy Who “Lost” My Number, Jerkface, Hot Yaakov, Surfer Dan, Macher Shimon, LA Dude, Hat Guy, Dr. Jekyll, Everyone’s First Date, Anti-YU Guy, Tuna Beigel, Fisherman, Nonstop Networking, MIT I, MIT II, NSA I, NSA II, & Prosperous Merchant.

Some people have formulas for naming their exes. O says she usually references her by location, though she also has Raussie, Barry Bonds, Machmir, and Lawyer Dude, and PC in her list. She must date across a more diverse geography than I do.  I’d have them listed up to V in locations like LA, Baltimore, and Queens if I stuck to home town.

So, what are your best nicknames?

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30 thoughts on “About Wacko iPod Dude

  1. Omg!!!! I do that….Mr 6’4, Bobble Head, Plumpy, Man with the Yellow hat, Stick shift, Meydad Tesa’s older brother, Peewee, Smiley, Tuchas Face…BFG= big friendly giant aka my husband =)

  2. Girl thing? No, I name the girls I’ve dated. But since all the names are descriptions of various body parts that shouldn’t be mentioned here, I’ll leave it all to your imagination.

    I used to feel bad about it, especially when I repeated the nicknames to my friends, until I found out that girls also make nicknames which are just as offensive.

  3. Ya I had Hippo and Rhino and Nose Hair and Idiot. I wish I was a girl so that it would be OK for me to generalize about the opposite sex and call them demeaning names, but alas, my lot in life is to be labeled “misogynist” rather than “creative”.

  4. (Only 2 of those nicknames were true stories, I said no to anyone who would have been called Hippo or Rhino. Sue me, I was just picky like that)

  5. I had a friend in college who majored in Japanese. She called her ex boyfriend from high school “Ichiban Baka” or “First Idiot.” (Just “Ichiban” for short.) She labeled her next ex “Second Idiot” and the one after that was “Third Idiot.” That’s the story of how I learned to count in Japanese.

  6. Dnn’t have specific nicknames for specific pple, have more generic nicknames:My friend taught me to only put “tamar” in my phone for the person I’m currently dating. And a guy I dated once told me he and his friends rather obnoxiously refer to the girls they’re dating as CI for “current isha”.

  7. IMHO- CI is perfect! I was wondering what I should use to refer to myself. LC didn’t seem quite right.

  8. Wow, you are all such charitable, kind people.

    It’s hard to imagine how people who look for the best in others like you do could still be single.

  9. @Ben maybe Rhino wasn’t for her nose, and it’s what I heard about her that made me call her Rhino and say no. Or maybe Rhino was a fictional character who was created to make a point. You’ll never know.

  10. There were many guys who were perfect and cute and smart and everything….but they just arent fun to talk about….

  11. What’s uncharitable about “Hat Dude” or “Math Man” or “Google Guy”?
    Why is everyone jumping to the conclusion that nicknaming someone is a mean thing to do? I always thought it was being charitable. As did the article writer.

    Just Sayin’ – Aren’t you kind of jumping to negative conclusions just like you accuse us of doing? Hm. Did someone marry you? Hope comes from the most unlikely places. :-)

    [Okay, "Horsebeater" isn't complimentary, but it's exactly what he did (on a video game at Dave n Busters). It happens to be the single most memorable moment of all of our dates (I was that horrified).]

  12. Sister Boobs and Lars are right up at the top of the list. Lizard Kisser is pretty fantastic, too. Peanut Butter & Jelly. Beard. Hot Cobbler.

    And it’s so fun to hear others!

  13. Bad4:

    If you read your own post, you’ll note that not all the names are as neutral as “Hat Dude” or “Math Man” or “Google Guy”; it’s difficult for me to believe that “Jerkface” has some flattering overtone that I am missing. And many of the nicknames in the comments are nasty as well.

    Yes, someone married me; as it happens, I was lucky enough to marry a person who rarely speaks badly of anyone. I consider that an admirable quality, and would like to think most other people do as well. While all of us have our less than perfect moments, should we really boast about denigrating other people?

    Additionally, as MCP pointed out, I doubt girls would be happy to hear boys assigning unflattering nicknames to those they’ve dated.

  14. Um, aside from Jerkface, there really aren’t too many. And obviously nobody is going to comment with their tamer names.

    As for Jerkface… Actually, I call Jerkface something else in my head. It’s unprintable. And trust me, he deserves it. His sub-gentlemanly behavior began well before the date which, sadly, was a mostly unredeemable 1.5 hours. He is my number one bad date story, because I’m barely halfway through when the audience is gasping “There’s more?”

    The article noted girls nicknaming guys as a social observation. If guys return the favor, it’s an interesting sidebar. If the names are deserved, who cares? Anyway, as you’ve pointed out, the names say as much about the namer as the named.

  15. “He is my number one bad date story, because I’m barely halfway through when the audience is gasping “There’s more?””–> this sounds like a post-worthy story!

  16. OK, maybe “Jerkface” deserves the name, but do you really think calling people by those names reflects well on the person doing the calling?

  17. It’s interesting that I didn’t immediately assume that B4S was referring to “pilot guy” based on his profession. It could just as easily refer to a guy who was discussing his screenplay, a tv pilot episode; or a fellow who was moonlighting as a mashgiach, in charge of igniting stoves.

    But I’m sure, giving the ubiquity of hobbies a la Groupon or Living Social, etc., that a lot more frum people will take to the skies….

  18. Some names from dates past:
    Cab Boy
    Stalker Boy
    Awkward Boy #1
    Awkward Boy #2

    The good dates tend not to get names, for some reason. Nor do all the bad dates, only the ones that have something particularly memorable about them/their behavior that lends itself to naming. Most of my past dates have not been named, now that I think about it.

  19. lots of the nicknames in my book have nothing to do with their looks – (ratface and bobble-head for example are based on topics of convo and situational circumstances) ratface just sounds better than rat-talker or ratboy etc

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