This post stands alone and doesn’t need a preamble.
Tag Archives: repost
My Explanations for the Shidduch Crisis
Three years ago I listed the reasons people give for the “shidduch crisis:” Singles are too picky, there aren’t enough good boys, or there aren’t enough boys (period, aka: the pyramid problem).
I also hosted some NASI back and forth on the subject. Their original article on the 10% crisis, my follow-up response, and a third reply from the boys, all on the subject of our lonely doom.
Over the years, I’ve accumulated a number of alternative explanations for the shidduch crisis. Some I agree with. Some I don’t.
I link to some of them here:
- Nobody wants to marry a career-woman, and since most women are career women, they can’t get married
- Men are slowly degenerating into slightly squishy couch-cushions whom women would rather sit on than date
- Jewish men don’t wear wedding bands, thus preventing Jewish women from striking up conversations with apparently single Jewish men because there are no apparently single Jewish men
- Jewish women don’t wear red, and red attracts men, so Jewish women don’t attract men
- There aren’t enough idealistic Jewish men for all our rational Jewish women
- Too many of us are friends with my old pal E, who is a segula for not getting married
- There are fewer men being born in the western world than ever before so there really are too many women around
- We don’t pay shadchanim just for dates so why should they bother to set us up?
- People place too much importance on hats, which casts shade over more important issues, like essential hashkafic compatibility
- Women won’t marry down, and most men are down these days (and the ones that aren’t don’t want successful women [see bullet-point #1]), so women won’t marry and it’s all their own picky fault
Work your way through those for a bit. Next week I’ll post some of the solutions I’ve posed over the past few years.
Friday Repost: Did you Say What I Thought You Said?
I was reminded of this post recently when someone described a guy as “open-minded but actually open-minded not what people mean when they say open-minded…” I didn’t actually know what people mean, but I consulted my list and discovered that it meant “want to live OTD.”
Friday Repost: Paradigm Shift on Lists
Guys have these lists they work down when dating. For a while this struck me as a degrading, terrible thing. Then this post happened…
Friday Repost: Shidduch Revenge
I think I might have reposted this some time ago, but since I restarted by going in chronological order, here it is again.
Women, do you feel disadvantaged in the shidduch scene? Like you have to prove more than your date, that you have to appear perfect, that you spend too much time in helpless limbo? Here is a list of empowering ideas to help you regain a feeling of control and mastery of the situation.
Friday Repost: Resumes
Have I yet posted a collection of posts about the shidduch resume? [wash mouth out with soap]
Here I was clearly struggling to write up my first draft, including the section where I’m supposed to describe myself. While musing, I got sidetracked into general maundering about why it’s so much more important to marry off girls than boys.
See, It’s Really Not New…
Once accused of being jaded, I went back to reread some of my earlier posts. And wouldn’t you believe: I found a post on almost the same subject as the Being Muddled one from earlier this week.
Here it is, entitled Weddings.
So, what do you think, folks? Do I sound more jaded these days? Or is it just that the writing is less thoughtful?
Friday Repost: What Good Are Single People
In my rereading I came across this post about what single people do. I found it entertaining, because one of my chief activities during winter break is classified as “looking after my married friends.” Getting married, apparently, requires moving to a town far from friends and family, and then knocking yourself out juggling housekeeping, bread-winning, and child-bearing. (What happened to the days when we sat around all day embroidering samplers and designing pretty dresses while the husband earned the income and the nurse took care of the children?)
Request: After reading this post, please rate it below on a scale of 1-5, where one is “wow you were desperate for filler material” and five is “I’m going to bookmark this so I can go back and reread it every day.”
