What is the purpose of a shidduch profile?
I would say to
1 – Convey the most germane information about its subject for matchmaking purposes and
2 – Intrigue potential matches enough that they want to date the subject.
Chas McFeely is a 40-year-old single guy who has reinvented the shidduch system in an effort to marry himself off. To that end, he’s created an online profile and recruited his entire network of family and friends in trying to set him up. He’s even offering shadchanus!
The impressive thing about McFeely’s shidduch profile is that, unlike most of the utilitarian word documents that float around the shidduch system, his actually does that. With ten photos, eight of them lightly captioned, he conveys a pretty well-rounded image of his personality, lifestyle, sense of humor, and general appearance. Moreover, it leaves you wondering, “Do I know any music-loving, Scrabble-playing women on the west coast?” Unlike most of the profiles I read, which leave me wondering, “If he sounds the same as the last six guys I’ve gone out with, is that good or bad?”
I think I’m going to become a proponent of interesting shidduch profiles. Hey, a cartoon profile got Stupid Inventor matched up.
I reformatted my own profile a few months ago and have been noting responses with a sociologist’s eye. Out of the dozen or so people I know it’s been sent to
- Three looked askance.
Of those three,
- One refused to use it.
- Two said, “Well I guess it weeds them out early on.”
- Nine spontaneously and without prompting sent their compliments and said it gave them a better idea of who I am.
Of these nine,
- Four said it made them more certain than before that I’d hit it off with their nephew/brother/cousin/son/friend.
- Another four didn’t have anyone specific in mind (they had just vaguely offered to set me up), but actually called me back to discuss “what I’m looking for.”
So, thus far, I’d say jazzing up a profile is mostly a good idea.
Moreover, if a particular shadchan thinks it’ll freak out the Suggestion, (s)he won’t pass it on. A friend of mine, when asked to attach a photograph of herself to her profile, sent the best and most recent photo she had. It was at the zoo, and she had a giant python around her neck. It was only after their engagement that she and her fiancée found out that his mother had suppressed the photo.
So, do you need to spend a thousand dollars filling a website with professional photos of yourself wearing everything from a suit to tennis whites? Probably not. But the McFeely comparison test is, when people finish reading your dossier, do they care about you at all?
Hat Tip to Cubic Zirconium for sending me the link.