Essential Shidduch Statistics: Fat Potential

In the mental health supplement of the Jewish Press there was, of course, an article about shidduchim. That alone is enough to garner comment. Shidduchim is now a matter of mental health? Meaning, attempting to get married can drive someone aroundthe loop? Aren’t we taking this just a drop too seriously?

The columnist wrote that it’s a multi-level problem. Since men can pick and choose what girls to date while the girls are all uniformly desperate, the men develop shallow criteria to weed out the applicants. This leads to women developing eating disorders.

OK, it’s sad. But I couldn’t help but laugh at the following. He said that men sometimes request photographs of the girl’s mother and even grandmother to calculate the girl’s “fat potential.” The “fat potential” of a girl is an estimation of how much weight she’ll gain after pregnancy.

The very idea is ridiculous. I know girls with rake-thin mothers who have gained 70 pounds post-pregnancy. And there are girls with overweight moms who look thinner after birth than they did before. But I decided to calculate my own “fat potential” (FP).

Fat Potential

I examined my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother on one side of the family. Then I switched to the other and examined them. I tried to use pictures of my grandmothers from their middle age, since weight gain is part of the aging process (you eat less, sleep less, and weigh more.) Then I checked out my aunts on both sides of the family.

I decided to be scientific about it, and I rated them all on a scale of 1 to 5, with 5 being quite corpulent, and 1 being so thin they don’t cast a shadow.

Using statistical analysis, the range of my fat potential was considerable. My great grandmother was rather corpulent, and my grandmother was always plump. I have a couple of chubby aunts as well. On the other hand, I have aunts who never gained a pound despite having five or six children. My mother is no earthshaker herself; she sometimes fits into my clothes.

Calculating the mean, median, and mode is more complicated, since one of my aunts recently lost a large percentage of her weight, so perhaps that lowers my FP. On the other hand, while there are fewer fat relatives, they have numbers further from the mean than the thin relatives, which raises my “fat potential”.

Sum total though, on a scale of 1-5, my FP = 2.6. I wonder how that affects my shidduch desirability? Should I list it on my resume? Maybe I should set up a website that calculates fat potentials for all young, single girls – we can establish an international standard. No more will young men have to embarrass themselves by asking for photos of a girl’s relatives; the FP number will tell all.

I’ve always wanted to contribute something significant to the world.

Unfortunately, based on my own numbers, I suspect that fat potential has little scientific basis. Yes, people tend to weigh about the same as their parents, but that probably has more to do with the fact that they eat the same foods and have the same exercising habits.

But my real answer to men who worry that their wives will get fat after they have children? Don’t ask your wives to have children. Maybe have them yourself. Or don’t get married. Instead, maybe get a life.

15 thoughts on “Essential Shidduch Statistics: Fat Potential

  1. oh my gosh, this blog is sooo good. i wish u cud get this published in the jewish press or something because seriously guys who know nothign about girls, absolutely nothing, kno one thing, “size two” “skinny” and im sick in tired of them having this much power over us, as to determining our eating habits and render us these pathetic scrawny creatures desperate to get married
    anyway fantastic blog, soo well written adn the sarcasm in the end is soooo well done,

  2. 😀
    Thanks for the comment.
    Your feelings are what stimulated me to start this blog: “them having this much power over us” and “pathetic scrawny creatures desperate to get married.”
    I’m glad to see someone agrees with me. The loss of dignity girls will suffer for the sake of getting a ring is despicable.
    I’d prefer to stay single longer than become a pathetic scrawny creature desperate to get married.

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  6. An excellent observation about how silly the F.P. calculations are and how rediculous the dance between the two genders can be. Just one thing though, as far as girls being “uniformly desperate”. Do girls have no power whatsoever, especially in this millenia? Can they not initiate something first? If a man is really obsessed with getting a “trophy wife” would you want him to ask you out anyway? What about women who are trolling law and med schools for a man because they want to assure a six figure income? Isn’t it the same thing?Some of them have turned me down because I don’t appear to have that sort of earning potential. Do you think I want them? The beauty of it is in the end we get what we deserve. Traits such as intellignece, wit, compassion, etc are important. Some men don’t think with their heads but then again some of us do. Girls need to be made aware of this.

  7. Um, at least in this community, girls tend to have fewer checklist options. Your problem is probably with women not wanting to ‘marry down’, while a large majority of orthodox Jewish women ‘marry down’ (at least in the higher education sense) without batting an eyelash. Different dynamics. My only point was how ridiculous it is to judge someone’s ‘fat potential’ based on their relatives. My great grandmother was quite fat by modern standards, my grandmother is plump, my mother is spot-on. I’m guessing family waistline has more to do with society than genetics.

  8. Almost two years ago to the day, you wrote about fp and still we are discussing it. What is our fascination with fat? Our society was never that shallow when it came to thinness; I wish it would go away so I don’t have to count calories!

  9. Nobody is forcing you to!
    I’ve always figured a person should want to stay at a healthy weight for themselves. If it has social ramifications, well, that’s just a plus.

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  12. Wanted Fat – oops ZAFTIG – Orthodox Jewish Woman for shidduch

    Where are you hiding?

    PS I’m real – so stop your Kvetching [chronic complaints], diets and concentrate on your middos tovos [good character traits].

  13. re:agentilemanone
    A] Who is to assume those gals will get a 6 figure Money man in these times?
    B] What guarantee do you have it won’t end in a fight to the finish contested Divorce case? – look at Hollywood’s record in the weekly tabloids at your favorite supermarkets’ check out counter.

  14. This blog is making me so glad I’m not involved in the ridiculous shidduch-by-a-shadchan process. Dating sites are pretty useless, but at least I don’t have to deal with various metrics of my marriageability, as if there’s an absolute marriageability metric that can be applied to everyone.

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