My Friends Are Melting

Everyone knows what happens to the Wicked Witch of the West. She melts away at the end of the movie. (The Wizard of Oz, for the truly sheltered.)
Well, she must have been an alte maidle from Flatbush.

Think about it:
* Single Brooklyn girls wear black. The witch wore all black.
* Single Brooklyn girls wear their hair down every day. The witch wore her straight black hair down every day. (No frizz either. Must have had a ceramic “wet to straight” iron.)
* Single Brooklyn girls diet themselves into toothpicks. The witch eventually melts away altogether.
* As for the green face – doubtless she was going for the beautiful olive complexion of Queen Esther. Look, if you’re that old and still unmarried, you get desperate. Though we all know why she was still single: flying around on broomsticks is just not done in our community.
But seriously: my friends are melting away. I can now count on a full hand the number of friends who have lost around 15 pounds in the past six months. Pretty freaky.
In secular science they’re always trying to prove that obesity is a genetic thing, or a disease, or the fault of the manufacturers, and that there’s nothing a person can do about being a fridge. Take a recent book (by, of course, a New York Times writer) Rethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss by Gina Kolata. It’s all about how fat people can’t help being fat.
Well, let Gina Kolata switch her focus group to single, Orthodox Jewish females between the ages of 17 and 25, and see if she’ll still maintain that weight-loss is a hoax.
Like becoming a lawyer, learning to draw, and enjoying coffee, losing weight is about determination, above all. And when you think that your entire future hinges on your waistline… well, you wouldn’t believe how fast people shed those inches!

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