Im Yirtza Hashem By You

I’d like to suggest a new policy. Whenever someone says “im yirtza Hashem by you” with their head slightly tilted and their voice overly kind, punch them in the nose.

We have to show zero tolerance for this attack on our dignity. People must learn to stop ladeling out the pity. We don’t want it.

(We don’t, right?)

Honestly, I don’t object to the occasional “im yirtza Hashem” tossed offhandedly by someone being polite or just saying what’s correct. It bothers me most when the person means it. When they give you that look, half appraising half pitying, full of compassion and consideration. To which you are expected to reply with a heartfelt “Amen!”

If we all started punching them in the nose, rest assured, people would hesitate a second before dishing out the sympathy.

25 thoughts on “Im Yirtza Hashem By You

  1. lol I used to feel like doing that but I just tell myself that hey it IS a bracha after all and ya never know how it help. But really there has to be something smarter for them to say but what should it be?? Like whenever I am at a wedding or vort I’m always wished i’yh by you, it is so natural I could really say amen before the words come out of the mouth.

  2. I don’t seem to mind when people give me that bracha. what’s the big deal? they’re wishing us well! say amen and really act like you appreciate their good wishes.

  3. I guess it depends…if it’s a close friend who really cares about me, and really means it (by which I mean would help me in other ways as well), then I don’t mind at all. if it’s a condescending remark, I just smile, nod, and wait until nightfall to throw a molotov cocktail through their window.

  4. ah, good attitude, another dating girl… but I’d rather accompany Anonymous on the cocktail throwing outing. Nothing against good attitudes – but explosions are more fun. šŸ˜‰

  5. It bothers me more when they dont mean it. It becomes like a ‘baruch Hashem’ ie meaningless. If it is a close friend and they really mean it, it can feel somewhat awkward but at least it is sincere.

  6. Totally!

    At my (younger) sister’s wedding, the Savta of the bride, a real f$%^ing witch, did that to my other sister – who promptly started crying. ARRHGG!

  7. When people used to say it to me in Yiddish “Im yirtzeh Hashem by Deer”. I would respond “And im yirtzeh hashem by ox and by cow and by all the animals in the barn.”

    Punching is a much better response. kudos.

  8. My response, when it isn’t someone bigger than me or really, really old is to just kick ’em in the nuts

  9. A friend of mine, who married late (39) included the following on her wedding invitation:

    “It is absolutely forbidden to say ‘soon by you’ to any of the singles at the wedding”.

    But your solution is good as well.


  10. Just say the same to them at funerals (“… at the right time”) and they’ll stop trying to be nice to you.

  11. lol. Try doing that when it is the Kallah that says ‘soon by you’ and then loudly rebukes you for not saying amen loud enough!

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  16. An added plus is that they will refrain from setting you up with their third cousin who has been unemployed for the past 10 years
    The minus is that they might call the police

  17. Just be glad they are still saying it. It’s a lot harder when people decide you are too old to say it to any more or you see them struggling because they are not sure if they will insult you if they say it…And you never know who has more zechusim than you think and their brocha may actually work!

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