Overheard: Bad for Shidduchim

Overheard conversation:
“…that’s so nice. And what school are you in?”
“Bais Yaakov High School.”
“So you know Sarah Klein?”
“Sarah… you mean Miss Klein? Sure! Without her I would have flunked Math B!”
“Yes, she’s really a great teacher.”
“How do you know her?”
“Well, around 10 years ago she used to teach with me at Yeshiva Supermodern Day School.”
“Really? So not the type. She teaches at bais yaakovs now.”
“Yes, I know. She left because, well… she said it was bad for shidduchim.” (sigh)

And the moral of the story is… don’t rearrange your life for shidduchim.

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10 thoughts on “Overheard: Bad for Shidduchim

  1. You already know my view on the whole “es vet shatten tzum shidduch” nonesense. Changing yourself all out of recognition of who you are or who you want to be because it might, just possibly might, bring a “good” shidduch and prevent a “bad” one smacks of superstition. For a people who are forbidden to practice witchcraft and forbidden to believe in superstition we sure do have some funny practices.

    And if Miss Klein’s changing to a Bais Yaakov school was supposed to be a segulah for a shidduch, did I misread the “10 years” and the “Miss”? How much longer before Miss Klein figures out that where you teach won’t guarantee you anything but a paycheck?

  2. How much longer before Miss Klein figures out that where you teach won’t guarantee you anything but a paycheck?

    It doesn’t sound so much like a segulah as it does an acknowledgement of a metzius that teachers at Modernish schools are in some way undesirable. One can condemn the community either for forcing girls and guys to jump through hoops to get on the good “lists” or for instilling such a paranoia in them that they perceive the presence of such imaginary hoops.

  3. Doesn’t sound like a segula or superstition, sounds like she wanted to marry the sort of man who would marry a BY teacher, not a supermodern day school teacher. Is it reasonable for men (or women) to judge a person by where they teach? I don’t think so, but perhaps there was an unreasonable assumption that if she taught in a supermodern school she was suspect of modern tendencies, lo aleynu. Note that I said unreasonable.

    But why did she want that? Was she already the sort of woman who wanted that sort of man?

  4. I don’t know. Men has mishugasis about these things. I guess she felt that the person she wants to marry would not want a girl who teaches at a Modern School. *shrugs*

  5. K, sorry for picking on p_almonius’ comment, but:
    There is a difference between a “supermodern day school teacher” and a “teacher in a supermodern day school.” I think everyone knows that many teachers in these places are more yesheevish than the students.

    I mean, I’ve worked in chaseedish schools and that sure doesn’t make me chaseedish… Working in a BY doesn’t make you a BY-“type” either (done that, too!)

  6. Pingback: Friday Repost: Don’t Do It! | Bad for Shidduchim

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