Five friends got engaged in a three week stretch, and I was left with a strange feeling. Is that what they call the “left behind” feeling? I guess so. It’s not like I feel like I’m doing highway speed during the Indy 500, though. I don’t feel… “left behind.” It’s more like watching everyone do something you can’t do too. Like watching a party go on, but being unable to join, or like having all your friends join a club, but being barred yourself. It’s like everyone’s been living another life that you didn’t know about.
It’s like when everyone at the table gets the joke except you; like when everyone’s discussing a book you never read or a movie you never saw. It’s like coming in to school one day and discovering everyone has a fancy new ten-brained yoyo except you, and you don’t even know where to get one. It seems everyone is either getting engaged or getting married, and I’m standing on the sidelines saying, “Hey wait, where can I get one of those?”
Suddenly five more friends are all excited about weddings and marking “first date” anniversaries on their calendar, and I’m feeling like you do when you walked in just after the presentation and don’t know what the discussion groups are going on about. Like finding out that all your friends are going to a camp you’ve never heard of. Like being the only one who didn’t get accepted to a seminary, or the only one to miss the chain call about the party. It’s just… a strange feeling.