Bring ’em on…

Apologies for the lack of post on Friday. I mixed up my dates on the timestamps.

In a way, I appreciate dating a number of people before finding the right one. I know many people marry the first person they meet and remain happily married forever, but I’m not like that. When it comes to important things, I’m a comparison shopper. Just because the glove fits, doesn’t mean I want to buy it. Maybe there’s a Gore-tex model or a fleece-lined version. I want to see what’s out there before plunking down my bucks.

With that kind of attitude, I know I’d never be happy marrying my first guy. If the first man you meet is so awesome, how do you know they’re not all like that? Or that the next one won’t be even awesomer? I need to see what I’m not getting in several permutations before I’ll appreciate Prince Charming when he finally rides up to my front door on his white charger. Some will say it’s not the best attitude, but it works.

In other words, on a broader level, I don’t mind dating unsuccessfully. And grateful that most dating streaks have been very short. (Thanks, Hashem. I’m incredibly grateful.) I know I’ll find someone eventually, and I’ll be all the happier to meet him because I’ll know how great he really is.

11 thoughts on “Bring ’em on…

  1. I felt the exact same way you do… when i was 21….
    Now I am 25 and have been out with more guys than you can count ….and If the choice is between dating 50 guys, or only 1, I would rather the latter …
    but good luck to you and i hope it doesn’t take you nearly as long ..
    🙂

  2. how can you know any guy will ever really stand out above the others?

    maybe we compare guys because we feel it’s like choosing apples from a batch – some are redder, some are juicier, some are more bruised..and eventually we’ll find the perfect apple..

    but what if we’re in fact comparing an apple to an orange to a banana to a mango to an ugly fruit.. ad infinitum?

  3. You don’t have to formally date a guy to realize that he’s entirely incompatable, just meeting him is enough. The whole I-can’t-say-hi-to-my-male-cousin-in-the-street-attitude (a taboo which, btw, disappears the second you have something on your head and a ring on your finger,) really doesn’t jive with being able to recognize the right one early on.

    When it’s right, you don’t CARE if there might be better.

  4. I don’t mean better like gee, this one is good, let’s find a better one. I mean like, this one is rotten, well I’m glad because now when a good guy shows I’ll know exactly how good he is.

    If you strike gold on the first shot, you don’t ever know that you’ve struck gold.

    I had a feeling it wasn’t clear, but didn’t have time to mull it over.

  5. “If you strike gold on the first shot, you don’t ever know that you’ve struck gold.”

    Why can’t you just be comparing that first guy to other men/boys that you have come across in your life? You don’t expect us to believe that you were stashed away in the highest room in the tallest tower until the day you started dating, do you?

    Meaning, the same way you can tell if that first guy is rotten w/o having a comparison you could also tell if that first guy is “gold”.

  6. If you strike gold on the first shot, you don’t ever know that you’ve struck gold.

    Not that it really matters, but I’m going to disagree with this one.

    (Relevant note: Brother married first girl he ever dated. Sister, dunno if she really dated anyone else before marrying brother-in-law. I didn’t really date – maybe one or two girls, depending on what you count – before meeting my wife.)

  7. I didn’t have this problem; the first guy I dated said no after the first date because “he’d gone out with other girls like me and he knew I wasn’t his type”. [shrug]

  8. you can still know you ‘struck gold’ but someone who had to weed through all the bad dates to get to their bashert has that much more appreciation for them…

  9. you can still know you ’struck gold’ but someone who had to weed through all the bad dates to get to their bashert has that much more appreciation for them…

    –Maybe initially, but over time? If so, I think that very sad.

  10. Pingback: I’m Ready Now! | Bad for Shidduchim

  11. Pingback: Repost: Why I Like Unsuccessful Dating | Bad for Shidduchim

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