What hasn’t shidduchim been compared to?
There was one commenter somewhere who soberly compared it to dog breeding: you check out the pedigree, you tally the blue ribbons won, and then you do genetic testing, before finally letting the dogs meet each other.
Then there was ProfK who compared matchmaking to matching socks (though she didn’t go into the fact that one sock nearly always disappears in the dryer, and therefore only the more versatile socks actually have matches afterward). (No idea where the post is, but if anyone wants to provide a link, feel free.)
The Gemara compares it to splitting the sea, and says splitting the sea is somewhat easier. (So why haven’t any successful shadchanim topped David Copperfield’s statue-disappearing act yet?)
Cattle markets, FBI background checks on alien residents, fitting legos together, racing the clock, congressional politics, marketing… there are many analogies drawn. I thought it would be fun to compile a collection – of old one’s you’ve heard, and of new ones you concoct.
For example, being single in the shidduch system is like being an unreacted substrate in the human body. You want to be reacted with another molecule to form something entirely new and more wonderful. However, you need to find the right enzyme to do it. And of course the enzyme has its own life going on, and if the pH gets too high or the temperature drops too low, the enzyme unravels and you’re left searching. It is possible to find the right molecule and undergo the reaction on your own, but it’s far more difficult and less likely to occur in the standard environment.
And then again, being single is like running for president. It’s all about achieving positive name recognition – you want your name spread around, and you want people to be able to say two or three good things about you when it comes up. And you want them to eventually pair you with your heart’s desire – be it a nice guy or the White House.
Don’t forget, being single is like being an oreo… oh wait, that’s just the yeshiva guys.
Well, it’s very much like being a container of orange juice. You’re separated from your significant other, and you need someone to shake you back together. …Er, well, maybe this one falls apart with too much scrutiny.
What else can shidduchim be compared to?