I’m reposting this because it’s related to a post that I have yet to write but would like to… after midterms.
“Ohmigosh you’re crazy – this is great! We have to get you married!”
Does anyone else find that admiration for a job well done or something well executed is invariably coupled with a comment on their marriage status, and the necessity of making it a married one?
Pull off an impressive Purim costume, and after admiring it people finish off, “We have to find someone for you.” Try your hand at some innovative wedding shtick, and people clasp their hands, ooh and aah, and wonder that you haven’t been snapped up yet. Bake a scrumdidlyumptious cake, perform an ingenious home repair, or be particularly charming one Shobbos afternoon and people smile as you leave and add, “We need to marry you off.”*
Not sure what they’re thinking. Once married, who has time for elaborate Purim costumes or ever thinks about livening up their friends’ weddings? (We’d settle for their attendance.) And there’s no need to bake well or be personable any more once you have that ring on. Heh, he’s stuck.** It sounds like they’re saying, “Clearly you have too much time and energy on your hands… we need to find a way to bring you down to speed.”
OK, OK, I know what they really mean: they mean the costume or shtick represents something so wonderful that it’s a pity to let it float around unhappily (for it must be), unpaired with something equally wonderful (or at least appreciative). Meaning, it’s a pity for me to remain single, because that’s a waste of me-ness. I think, anyway. The premise disintegrates under scrutiny, so don’t think into it too much.
Another possibility is that “you need to get married” is an expression of friendly concern. Meaning, “there are many singles out there, but I like you enough to think that you especially should be married. I’m singling you out (no pun intended) for special attention.”
A sick sort of side thought would be that if “you need to get married” is the latest way to say “I like you” or “I want you to be happy” then it says something very sad about our society.
Just a note for all the coo-ers out there: when I’m basking in a success, I really don’t need you dragging in shidduchim. I don’t see what my single status has to do with anything, and I’d prefer if you didn’t bring it up.
*Not all activities performed by Bad4 at any point in her life.
**Disclaimer – does not reflect the views of the blogger so hold the tomatoes.