Almost Jaded?

What are the signs of being a jaded dater?

Is it when you were going to say “yes” and he says “no” and you don’t care?

Is it when someone describes the perfect guy, and you yawn and say, “Hey, why not?” Or maybe it’s when they describe the perfect guy and you say, “Not this week, I have a test.”  Or maybe it’s when you agree to start dating the week before finals because you figure it won’t go beyond the first date anyway.

Is it when you allot about 15 minutes to date-prep and almost forget to double check in the mirror on your way out?

Is it when you neglect all dating etiquette out of weariness and don’t care if you scandalize? Or is it when you space out on the ride home because you’re reviewing for the quiz the next day in your head?

Is it when you no longer find the concept of dating exciting, intriguing, stimulating, or even interesting? Or is it when you’d rather stay in and lose a game of Scrabble to your sister than maybe meet your bashert?

 If so, I’m getting there fast.

28 thoughts on “Almost Jaded?

  1. I’d say you’re almost jaded, but as long as you keep cracking us up here you’re not quite there yet.

    But aren’t you a bit young to be jaded? How many times could you possibly have been through this already?!

    🙂 BM on vacation

    P.S. After your test, please come teach me the 15-minute prep routine. I need to get that straight…

  2. Anonymous – the 15 minute prep routine is simple: do your hair in the morning (and don’t spend more than 10 minutes on it. Any style that requires more attention needs to be traded in), and don’t start getting dressed until 15 minutes before. YOu’ll be amazed at how much faster you get when you have to.

  3. I don’t think getting jaded is a linear process. I think there are periods of time when one feels jaded and then other times when one gets more excited. At least, that’s how it is with me. It also may be that 15-minute prep and being more relaxed in general will actually make you more desirable to guys, who are allegedly into that whole “low maintenance” thing. But what do I know? I’m still single.

  4. Bad4 come on now. You haven’t entered some age of malaise and apathy; I think you’ve come to
    realize that its stupid for you to spend all your time fussing about getting married.

    You’ll meet your bashert eventually.
    A watched pot never boils so focus on what’s really important to you: your education, family, and friends! Once you are married you won’t have nearly as much time for any of that!

    Don’t date with such high expectations and with such seriousness because your only going to disappoint yourself.

    You should apply the same philosophy that I use to enjoy work while on your dates. Go, make the best of it, and have a good laugh, you won’t be stuck there forever.

  5. Ok, bad4, which one of these has happened to you?
    Anon, I agree- this isn’t how I feel (bh),- yet! :)- but it’s probably like what G and s/o else said- it’s like you’re filling in the pieces around your life, but the center is still missing…

  6. I find it funny how many of the criteria for being jaded are equally applicable for guys. I hate the fact that you’ll be on a date, and you’ll know that both you and your date are “jaded”, but you obviously can’t talk about it, because that would be “rude” and/or break the unwritten shidduch rules. But wouldn’t it be so much fun? You’d probably learn a lot more about successful dating that way…

  7. Ya know, from sifting through the comments on this blog, it sounds like a lot of the readers are single guys and gals. Being that many are of the same mind (i.e., the shidduch dating process is sorely lacking, both sexes are equally jaded), maybe we can do something about it. Why not host a get together so single guys and girls can meet? I know a lot of us enjoy the anonymity of the blogosphere, but I think it’s a bit cowardly, to be honest. (Big talk from someone called “Crush,” huh?) One of the reasons I really admire FrumSatire is because his name is there – you don’t have to search for it at all. But I digress. Seriously, if anyone has any interest in – or hesitations about – something like this, please let me know. (When you do, let me know if you’re male or female, and how old you are, please.) You can either email me at the above address or post here so everyone can discuss it. Thanks and have a chag kasher v’sameach!

  8. Oh shoot, I don’t like your definition of “jaded,” LWY. I much prefer BFS’s.

    I think my definition sums up everything quite well. When you first start dating, you’re excited when someone suggests a shidduch for you. Maybe this is the one! But as you get older, you just don’t really care anymore, don’t want to be bothered.

  9. Being a jaded dater means you don’t really bother looking into the person to deeply ‘cuz it’s not gonna get past a first date anyway…

  10. Moadim l’simcha to all.

    Nice idea Crush, but I suspect we’ll all gradually descend into the abyss of apathy and jadedness once again 😉

    In any case, (I may be speaking for myself here, but…) not all of us are based in NY, or even North America for that matter.

    Here’s one to ponder: Once we’ve agreed that we’re all jaded, what do we prefer – to have just one date before it’s all over, confirming our (pessimistic) suspicions, or to have three to five dates, that ultimately end up the same, and you “wasted” more time on it, but at least it gave your ego a bit of a massage that the other person isn’t repulsed by you and possibly even found you quite interesting…?

    For the record, I side with the latter POV.

  11. Crush, I’m not sure if all of us would agree to a public, large, boy/girl meeting.

    What I’m thinking would be a good idea is maybe you get the stata form everyone here- like you said, name, age, gender, background, what you’re looking for- and try to match us up.
    Badforshidduchim dating. The goal is to match us all up withing five months. 🙂

    I’m all for it. Seriously.

    What do you think?
    PS- I don’t think you provided your email address.

  12. Mindy,

    Re my contact information, you do make a valid point 🙂 My email address is As for matching up B4S readers – I’ve set people up a bunch of times, and I’m pretty good at it. Thing is, I’m not that into setting up people I’ve never met. How about you shoot me your information (the usual stats and a paragraph about what you’re looking for), and I’ll see what else I get from B4S readers, and we’ll take it from there? If I think I have someone, maybe you and I can meet up for a drink or something so I can at least get to know you a bit? Just for the record, you’re the only one who expressed any interest in this, so I can’t say we’ll get very far on a B4S match-off, but I do know other guys and girls, so who knows?

    Thanks and moadim l’simchah.

  13. LWY: Is it that you really don’t care and don’t want to be bothered anymore, or that you’re afraid to be bothered, because you know/assume (based on your track record) that it’s not going to go anywhere?

  14. Sorry you feel so jaded 😦 . Is it fair that someone who has been in shidduchim should feel that way, even after a short time of dating? I think not. But, life’s not fair.

  15. Pingback: Friday Repost: Jadedness « Bad for Shidduchim

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