Poor Halfshared seems to have gotten the treatment at her brother’s wedding. She came up with a list of things people shouldn’t do to ancient singles. However, between me and you, obnoxious middle-aged women aren’t changing their black suits so soon. So here’s the Bad4 Approved way of dealing with tough wedding situations:
Don’t blush, cringe and say, “Can I ask you a question, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want” and then ask, “How old are you?”
Proper answer: “Forty-three this June. I know – I’m a walking advertisement for collagen injections.”
Don’t say “Nu..What’s with you? We want to come to your wedding already.”
Proper answer: “It’s next week, but I didn’t send you an invitation for a reason.”
Don’t come over to me like I’m the biggest nebach in town and ask me how I am doing with a pitying smile. Would I get all that special attention if I weren’t the “old maid” at the wedding?
Proper response: (looking tearful) “It’s really hard… really hard… to enjoy my brother’s wedding when people keep trying to pity me!”
Don’t redt me a shidduch and then in front of me say “ well actually you might be too old for him, maybe it’s for your younger sister.”
Proper Response: “I’ve been screening suggestions for her all night. Tell me about him.”
Alternative: “Oh no, my sister wants to marry a wealthy nonogenarian. I, personally, prefer them young. Easier to dominate.”
Actually, not sure about this last one. Suggestions welcome. Hey, with the right response prepared, weddings in Shidduchville could become extra fun.