Don’t Do (Pingback)

Poor Halfshared seems to have gotten the treatment at her brother’s wedding. She came up with a list of things people shouldn’t do to ancient singles. However, between me and you, obnoxious middle-aged women aren’t changing their black suits so soon. So here’s the Bad4 Approved way of dealing with tough wedding situations:

Don’t blush, cringe and say, “Can I ask you a question, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want” and then ask, “How old are you?”

Proper answer: “Forty-three this June. I know – I’m a walking advertisement for collagen injections.”

Don’t say “Nu..What’s with you? We want to come to your wedding already.”

Proper answer: “It’s next week, but I didn’t send you an invitation for a reason.”

Don’t come over to me like I’m the biggest nebach in town and ask me how I am doing with a pitying smile. Would I get all that special attention if I weren’t the “old maid” at the wedding?

Proper response: (looking tearful) “It’s really hard… really hard… to enjoy my brother’s wedding when people keep trying to pity me!”

Don’t redt me a shidduch and then in front of me say “ well actually you might be too old for him, maybe it’s for your younger sister.”

Proper Response: “I’ve been screening suggestions for her all night. Tell me about him.”

Alternative: “Oh no, my sister wants to marry a wealthy nonogenarian. I, personally, prefer them young. Easier to dominate.”

Actually, not sure about this last one. Suggestions welcome. Hey, with the right response prepared, weddings in Shidduchville could become extra fun.

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20 thoughts on “Don’t Do (Pingback)

  1. “Oh no, my sister wants to marry a wealthy nonogenarian. I, personally, prefer them young. Easier to dominate.”

    LOL!

  2. LOL B4S, you gotta edit all my posts from here on. You just take a drab post and make it so exciting. I should’ve had you at my side there…

  3. LOL! Awesome.

    Don’t say “Nu..What’s with you? We want to come to your wedding already.”

    Proper answer: “It’s next week, but I didn’t send you an invitation for a reason.”

    I SOOO want to use this, but will get killed!

  4. Hi, Sorry this is off-topic, but I guess this is the right site to ask – what does one wear on a first date day date?
    Quick answers are appreciated 🙂

  5. Personally, I think the best answer to “so nu, when is your wedding already?” is “I hope soon, why, do you have a boy for me?” AWKARD SILENCE FOLLOWED BY NERVOUS LAUGHTER
    That’ll be the last time they ask you that question!

    AK, kinda off topic but the truth is depends on the type of boy your dating. Girls can go from suits to ultra casual and everything in between. Personally, i usually wear either a nice jacket or sweater with heels.

    now that were already off topic, bad4, what do think about doing a post on the custom of bridal showers? i’m curious to see if anyone shares in my angst…i know it won’t interest the guys but maybe it’ll make them feel bad for us…

  6. Thanks, leftover.
    I would normally dress up for a first date, but this is a day date, so I’m really unsure. Is it too casual to wear a nice sweater and flats – or can I wear a cute jumper?

  7. Depends where you’re from/who you’re dating. In Monsey, Borough Park, Kensington, and parts of Flatbush, a suit. In Queens, Far Rockaway/Five Towns, and parts of Flatbush, a nice sweater, jumper, etc.

    Day date: I would definitely go slightly more casual, with the nice sweater/jumper. I’m not unbiased enough to vote on the shoes, but I’d stick with heels all the way.

    Bridal showers? What’s the complaint?

  8. What’s the complaint? Where do I start? My basic frustration is that the system is unfair to singles. You’re expected to pay for every single shower just cuz your not married. The girls that get married later basically don’t get much because they’re long married friends in kollel ‘can’t afford’ it! So their remaining single friends then have to sponsor the whole shower as if they didn’t give enough money to marry off their entire grade! Argh. Do I sound cheap? Cuz I’m not. What I am is out a few thousand dollars. And by the time my turn rolls around, I highly doubt anyone will be left to spend that kinda money on me.

  9. “Oh no, my sister wants to marry a wealthy nonogenarian. I, personally, prefer them young. Easier to dominate.”

    Brilliant! LOL. 🙂

    What to wear on a first date: nice jeans with embroidery, sandals and a simple top? Oh….right…that don’t fly in your neighborhood, does it?

  10. I may be unique in this regard, but I can assure you that I dont notice the girl’s clothes on a first date. Even if other guys do, this isn’t something that concern them as much as girls think. So… don’t worry, unless you’re meeting the guys mom.

  11. A friend of mine was almost dumped because of her first date dress… so best not risk it.

  12. 😀 Anytime!
    (But that was a special case – she was dressed by someone else, and it didn’t reflect her very well, and her happened to be what he was looking for, and now they’re married, and the moral of the story is, just be yourself.)

  13. I should’ve had you at my side there…
    Nah… these things just look off the cuff… Though now that they’ve been written, they can be said like they are.

  14. To the question of “So nu, when’s your wedding already?” if you’re really annoyed, you could try “Why do you THINK it’s taking so long?” Otherwise, for those interested in humor, there’s always the ones along the lines of “Oh, I don’t want to settle, like you did.”

    As for what to wear, make sure you know what you’re doing – ie if there is walking involved, if it’s outside, being “close to nature.” You wouldn’t want to wear fancier stuff to go for a walk in the park where your heels get stuck in the dirt and you cannot sit on the grass or even a bench for fear of dirtying your outfit. And if the plan is even for something simple like a museum, I understand that many female types don’t want to walk around in heels all afternoon. Of course, without heels, any potential height difference may be exaggerated, so, try for a happy medium…

  15. Pingback: Repost: How to Handle Women in Black at a Wedding | Bad for Shidduchim

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