How to Get Married: Advice from the Successful

“You have to go to shadchanim. You should go to the Baltimore shadchan, Bad4. It’s an entire day’s trip, but it’s worth it.”

~ NMF #5, who was set up by a family friend.

“You have to tell everyone that you’re trying to get married. You go away for Shobbos and make sure to mention it to your hosts. You tell it to relatives at weddings. Everyone.”

~ NMF #4, who was set up by a shadchan.

“Board in Monsey for high school.”

~ MF #1, who met her husband at her landlady’s kitchen table while in high school.

“Daven a lot. It’s like, seriously, a miracle if you find the right one.”

~ NMF #6, who dated more men than she wants to think about.

“Have fun on dates. You’re at your most attractive when you’re having fun.”

~NMF #5

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14 thoughts on “How to Get Married: Advice from the Successful

  1. Hehe.

    Most common theme I’ve heard from people who are married (including me).

    1) Be yourself.
    1a) Have fun.
    1b) Ignore the “rules”, use common sense.

    Never really heard much beyond those.

  2. Davening works. And, chill out- dating is not meant to be torture- although it seems like it sometimes.

  3. “You have to go to shadchanim. You should go to the Baltimore shadchan, Bad4. It’s an entire day’s trip, but it’s worth it.”

    Hahahahahahahahaha
    I lived in Baltimore til I was 29 and I was always told I need to go meet NY-area shadchanim

  4. LOL to SaraK, but it’s possible that they’re both right: If you live in NY, go to MD, and if you live in MD, go to NY. The idea is to widen the scope.

    My advice is to take all advice with a grain of salt. But, you knew that already.

    Loved this post, btw.

  5. I didn’t listen to any rules. I called all the shadchanim (who don’t call you back by the way). And I am happily married, having been set up by someone in my neighborhood.

  6. Hah… love this post. I say just be yourself. Its really min hashamayim. But of course.. sitting in a room with the windows drawn down, not telling anyone that you are “available” and just waiting for a boy to climb into your fire-escape…. thats not it.

  7. Be open to people who aren’t immediately obvious — allow yourself the chance to fall in love with people who, at first glance, are somewhat unlikely. Half my friends (and myself) are married to people who were not at all like the person they thought they would end up with. good luck!

  8. I had a girl break up 2 days before the wedding and I have a good laugh about it now that I’m married with kids but it can be rough. From a spiritual perspective I took upon myself things that weren’t difficult but many are not strict about i.e. talking in shul during davening.

  9. LOL!
    But seriously, why do these people feel like they are more worthy than we are just because they are married??
    And why do people feel that they can give dating advice if they got engaged to their first boy at the ripe old age of 18??

  10. Pingback: Friday Repost: How to Get Married – From People Who Have Done It | Bad for Shidduchim

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