I was heartily amused while attending a wedding in Shidduchville last night. It was the wedding of my Shidduchville correspondent, actually.
Many people suffer the misconception that Shidduchville is Brooklyn. If this were true, I would hardly need a correspondent!
Anyway, as usual, all the bride’s friends sat together, some working on their first child, some still enjoying the easy styling of their sheitels, and some of us, being, um, single.
I whisper it, because it’s not nice to mention it in public. It isn’t… delicate, I guess. I just learned this at the wedding. A woman was making her way around the table, speaking to all the single girls. That included me, of course. She was talking about segulos that “help the process along” and that have been proven to “speed things up” and so on and so forth. If anyone is interested, try saying the entire Tehillim 3x a week with no interruptions whatsoever. The woman said that it married my Shidduchville correspondent off; I have to confirm that with the source one of these days. You think you know a person, and then you find out that they’ve been saying the entire Tehillim three times a week.
Anyway, I let her go on, moving along to many other segulos that “might be helpful” because I was admiring the finesse with which she managed to conduct the entire monologue without ever mentioning being single, shidduchim, marriage, or dating. It was true artistry. This woman missed her calling in rhetoric.
Very likely, she was worried that mentioning my single status would make me burst into tears. I appreciate her delicacy. I hope it does not become the norm. Perhaps, for the desperate girls of Shidduchville, being single at a wedding is a tearful occasion. But I can’t help but think that it’s like when a little kid falls down, looks at his mother, and if she’s full of concern and comfort, immediately starts crying. If people cue singles to be hypersensitive, we’re bound to play along. (Just look at the girls of Shidduchville.) Instead, you ought to laugh, go “oopsie!” and try to convince us that nothing happened, and it’s just a scratch.
Chin up, me brave lassies. It’s ok that you’re – well, you know – um, still –
…I just haven’t got the talent for this delicacy. YOU’RE SINGLE! I HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE THIS SETBACK CUZ LIFE IS FULL OF THEM.