Hooray for Bad Date Stories

They remind us that someone always has it worse. I mean, I’ve never been told by a date that he doesn’t like dating religious girls because they’re ungrateful. Have you? It’s a brilliant way to put a girl at ease and help her understand why she’s going out with you.

What about the girl who offered to meet a guy in Manhattan, travelling by train? Being a gracious fellow, he refused, insisting on picking her up. He arrived two hours late without so much as calling to let her know he was delayed, and spent the first five minute cursing city traffic and complaining about how much he hates driving in Manhattan.

Or about the sad-eyed girl who went out for pizza with a guy. The bill totaled $15, so he offered the waiter a $5 bill.

“It’s $15, sir,” the waiter said patiently. The guy pulled out a $1 as well. (Um, 1+5=15?!?)

“It’s $15, sir,” the waiter repeated, patiently. So the guy peeled off a ten and asked for the change. The waiter delicately took the 5 and 10 and left the 1 as change.

“This is what people think of me!” bemoaned the young woman. “I am so not enjoying dating.”

Don’t forget the guy who took a girl on a super-expensive first date at a classy restaurant, wined and dined her, and gave her the royal treatment. Followup for a second date? “Well, I would consider going out with you again, but not a real date – something like a movie (I hardly consider that a date) – to get to know you better.”

There is way too much wrong with that, so instead of trying to top it I’ll stop here and let you absorb and be amazed.

24 thoughts on “Hooray for Bad Date Stories

  1. What about my friend, the oldest of eleven, who was told on a date, “Don’t you think your parents were irresponsible for having so many children?”

    Or the guy who took me to Starbucks and said that when he and his father go to Starbucks together, they get a large coffee and ask for an extra cup so they could split it, and did I mind if we did that, too?

    [blank stare]



  2. In the 1950s my father was a thirtysomething bachelor. He recalls making plans to take a young lady to dinner, then realizing on the way to dinner that he could not stand talking to her at all. He took her to a movie instead (didn’t have to talk). Did he have, or did he cause, a bad date?

  3. I also have a bunch that thoroughly entertained my married-with-two-kids friends @ a recent wedding…

    How about the guy who INSISTED that we walk even though I offered to pick him up with my car. On a Sunday afternoon. In the Springtime. To a cafe waaay too closeby. Then complained about the prices.

  4. And how about the guy who made a face and told he just can’t stand baalei teshuva? Don’t worry, I gave it to him 😉

  5. And how about the guy who told me he can’t stand baalei teshuva. I was disgusted and in utter disbelief.

  6. and then there is the one who spent the entire date raving that ‘satmars’ are crazy self hating Jews. Hello? my best friend is Satmar. And it would have been nice if he had gotten his facts straight before fanatically calling THEM fanatics.

  7. Scraps — What did you do? I would have just bought myself my own drink. (NEVER go on a date without money. You just might need to save yourself at some point…)

    Ugh. I have some so bad that it’s embarrassing to write about.

  8. I can’t remember what I did. I think I just told him, no, that was not acceptable. Thankfully, it was one of the shortest dates I ever went on.

  9. This story isn’t that bad,happened to my friend who is happily engaged to a different guy, but basically the guy got the bill at a lounge, looked at it for moment and then went on droning.

    The waiter came by 20 minutes later motioning if he was done, the guy said yeah. When the waiter walked away and peaked inside for the bills, realized there was none and questioned the guy.

    The guy said, “Oh, I thought it was a menu.”

  10. I once asked a friend how did he manage to get through his awful date. His answer – “I was too busy trying to memorize the unbelievable words coming out of her mouth…”

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  12. k ya so we get to the hotel lobby, we sit down and the “gentleman” goes to get us drinks. k all is kool eventhough he is NOT so attractive. looking down at the floor, i see a pair of shoes without feet in them. looking onto his chair, i see one foot in his hand, and the other swinging like a rocking chair. fun no? k it gets better- he goes to the bathroom and returns after 10-15 minutes with the cellphone in his hands and the “excuse”: i was actually txting ppl. tonight its the rambam’s yartzeit i want to tell them to light a candle. oh how sweet- not!!!!! and he sits down txt only one more person and calmly asks: “so… where were we?”

  13. Pingback: Repost: Click Here for Bad Date Stories | Bad for Shidduchim

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