There are milestones in singlehood. The first is when all your friends are getting married. Then you’re sort of left behind in the rush—except that you’re rushing more than anyone else. You have to get from vort to vort, shower to shower, wedding to wedding, and by the end of it all you’re as broke and exhausted as they are, but still single.
The next round I am in right now. That is the First Baby Round. Within the past two months I have congratulated no less than six friends on the birth of their eldest. And there are still a few more on their way. In this round, the single rushes from the balloon-and-teddy-bear store to the Kiddush to the bris to Children’s Place and then back to deliver the gift. At the end of this round you’re pretty tired and out of pocket, but at least you haven’t changed any diapers.
So what’s round three? Is it the upsherin rush? Or do you wait for bar mitzvahs?