Where Do You Want To Go?

Some guys have asked questions under the last post.
Question 1: Where do girls like to go on dates?
Question 2: Where do girls want to go that guys don’t take them?

I don’t really think there’s an answer to this, but hey, it’s worth a shot.

It’s a lot easier to think of places not to go. For example, places with a high noise volume, or where talking is discouraged (arcades/movies) make it a drop difficult to date. Places where there’s nothing to fall back on if the conversation lags (most – but not all – lounges and lobbies). Places where one’s dress is totally inappropriate (unless warned, assume first date is formal). Places where one can’t perform the main activity (check cholov yisroel status before planning for Starbucks).

When asking a girl where she’d like to go, don’t offer her two options with wildly different price tags (walk in the park, or Prime Grill?). Don’t ask an open-ended question (where would you like to go?). You probably shouldn’t assume a particular interest (Barnes and Noble or the 5th Avenue Library? Baseball game or the Football Hall of Fame [to some of us, they’re all the same]?) or taste (Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks?).

That’s about it I can think of. I like to see places around NYC that I’ve missed or haven’t seen in a while; thus a date at the aquarium struck me as a great idea (the guy seemed surprised I hadn’t been there multiple times already, though, so that’s not a certain winner, but then again, if he thought that, why’d he take me?), as did the Waldorf Astoria (a lot more interesting than the Hyatt or the Marriott, but again, not for everyone). In general, I prefer moving to sitting still, doing to watching.

But that’s just me. Let’s try it this way: guys and girls, what was the best dating venue you’ve ever been to? Please include your gender when posting.

Edit: I see I have this post way back when about where to take a date.

29 thoughts on “Where Do You Want To Go?

  1. I really enjoyed just walking around in the city and talking. Also ESPN zone- played some games. I like sitting and talking but there’s a limit to how much i can do of that, you know?

  2. I second the aquarium (coney island aquarium, right?). it’s a good mix of talking and activity.

  3. Those paint-a-piece-of-pottery places started showing up long after I was married, but I’ve often thought they’d be a great place to take a date. They’re in public, and you work on a project, but there isn’t a lot of noise. If the date’s a bust, at least you have a new coffee mug from the experience.

    They usually fire the pottery and make it available 4 days after the glaze is painted, so there’s a natural follow-up opportunity, to see how the glaze looks after firing.

    Also, it seems like a great way to get to know someone, by watching how they approach the craft.

  4. Just a tip for the guys…. If the venue you choose involves a lot of walking, it’s a good idea to mention it to the girl beforehand. Her choice of footwear might be predicated on how much time will be spent pounding the pavement 😉

  5. Hey Bad4,

    I was the one in the earlier thread to ask the question that sparked this post. Thanks a ton for answering me – Ezzie recently posted a pdf too about places to go in NYC.

  6. Jazz fest in Montreal. Summer night, on the terrace of the Place-des-Arts, the crowd below you, fountain spray in your face – best date of my life.

    [We’ve been married 6 years, but I don’t think that date was the make-or-break: we were pretty serious already.]

  7. Just my opinion: I’ve done the picnic thing and it’s kinda awkward on a first date when you don’t know the person at all and you have a huge stuffed sandwich that you are trying to eat politely.

    Also re: the painted mugs, if I have a bad date I don’t like to have any momentos at all. Like once, a few weeks after a bad experience I came across the guy’s business card he’d handed to me (don’t ask me why but it seemed rude not to take it after he took it out of his wallet specially to show me and told me I should keep it) and I threw it out gladly.

    What I mostly have are some anti-recommendations. For example, an art museum. Bad idea, you end up wandering around trying to avoid the nude/suggestive paintings and scuptures and making inane comments about how you don’t get modern art and it looks like something a five year old would do. Barnes and Noble used to be okay, but lately they have gotten rid of the extra chairs/sofas and it’s almost impossible to find a place to sit.

  8. Any date is a bad date if you don’t like the guy (and if he doesn’t like you). Any date can become a good date if you like eachother. That’s really all there is to it.

  9. I’ve done the picnic thing and it’s kinda awkward on a first date when you don’t know the person at all and you have a huge stuffed sandwich that you are trying to eat politely.[]

    When I dated, I never had a problem eating on the date. Even overstuffed sandwiches at Bernsteins or anywhere else. Eating. I’m good at it 🙂


  10. Don’t go to cafes during lunch time. I went to Cafe K in Manhattan – within 15 minutes it became very crowded, and there was a lot of frum girls passing by so i had to either continuously stare in the girls eyes or just look down to the table – no space to look around.

    From another view, museum is a cool thing to go to (as long as both enjoy it), but you have to prepare to skip parts of it where you can see naked woman on pictures, drawings or statues – girls like to have guy’s attention on them and not on lifeless undressed creatures.

    PS. Added this post to my “Shidduch Mistakes” list

  11. i went to the ripleys believe it or not place in ny (or was it the Guinness world record museum???) and that was cool cuz its interesting and gives u stuff to talk about, but u can also talk about ur own stuff.

    i like going to an arcade type place after the first few dates, cuz sometimes it can get too serious and its good to see if we can just chill and have fun together.

    in my “younger years” i hated going to lounge type places for a 1st date cuz i thought it was so boring, but now in my “more experienced days”, i dont mind it because i like talking tachlis asap so i dont waste my time (even tho i still think its boring)

  12. A first date is always formal? Not in the world I date in… I’ll bet that varies strongly by community.

  13. I like Dave & Buster’s as the start to a first date, followed by Starbucks (or other quiet place. I find that the games provide an opportunity to be an ice-breaker so both people can loosen up, and the following conversation becomes more normal and less stilted.

    Some other dates I’ve especially enjoyed were painting chocolate molds at The Chocolate Girl in Brooklyn (parve chocolate, but the chocolate “paint” is dairy) and bringing a selection of games to a hotel lobby and playing games while we shmoozed. One date that went well was pure luck – it was supposed to be a walk on the boardwalk followed by a picnic dinner (actually just a very late lunch), but Mommy Nature didn’t cooperate; we ended up sitting in my car and eating while we watched the lightning.

    On the other hand, I’ve had young ladies suggest to me that we go bowling or to play pool on our first date, which goes to show that not everyone will be comfortable with the same thing and YMMV.

  14. A drive in a Jag through Napa at breakneck speed to see Hearst Castle, and then to eat tuna on the Beach. I didn’t know I was going to Hearst Castle either.

    On the other end of the Spectrum- Best first date was looking at the exterior facades (we had arrived slightly too late) of the musuems at Audubon Terrace. We then tried to get inside Trinity Church’s other burial ground in Manhattan (also closed- but I saw the Astor’s tomb!) Did you know it was the location where George Washington lost to the British?

    Then we went on a long walk in Central Park, and then had Pizza.

    (the theory of the date was fun).

    Just go on an adventure. You do learn a lot that way

  15. One more thing: some girls happen to hate restaurants. These types do exist…and they exist in guys as well as girls. So no, you don’t have to go to a restaurant just in order not to be “cheap”. If you hate restaurants, or just don’t have the money…don’t feel obligated. Some girls will label you as cheap or boring, but others will be greatly relieved.

  16. YMMV = your mileage may vary.

    anyone want to suggest places in Israel? I’m running out of interesting places that are accessible especially w/o a car…

  17. Girl. Absolute favorite for a second or third date* is B&N. One does not have to be interested in books there are people there to look at, music to listen to, cafe for those who do like the cofffee and books for the rest of us. It’s amazing how much you can learn about a person by chatting about books you’ve read. “my favorite series ever is Hardy Boys” can be pretty telling.

    *For the first I couldn’t care less if we stay in the car. A first date is rarely “fun” or honestly enjoyable and can be in a lounge IMO. A couple hours of chatting to see if there is ANY potential and then home.

  18. Let’s see…

    I enjoyed the aquarium (Coney Island, Sony Museum was fun, Pottery painting (once we knew we were getting engaged – I painted salt and pepper shakers and we use them all the time). The Waldorf Astoria was by far my favorite hotel date. Mini Golf was fun too. He wanted to take me bowling but I flat out refused.

  19. South Street Seaport. Great place to walk around and things to do. Worked for me — 28 years ago!

  20. Yeah, I like South Street Seaport as well. I don’t like lounges. I like food, when I’m told not to eat dinner beforehand.

    Walking outdoors when the weather is good. Been to the aquarium, too, and it doesn’t lend too much to conversation, but it does take the focus off.

  21. We did the picnic thing on a park bench for the first date. The weather prediction was for beautiful weather, although the sky looked slightly threatening. Of course, once we had all the food out, a storm blew up. Very windy…btw some Starbucks have kosher soy milk. If you ask to see the container, they will show it to you, and you can check out the hechsher.

  22. Pool hall. Carefully explain that you’re not supposed to even look like you know what you’re doing, but rather just walk around the table, chatting, with a natural diversion

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