Forever 21?

A bar mitzvah in the paternal side of the family this weekend means traveling to the city most occupied by the paternal end of the family. Perhaps the paternal end of the family looked upon this as ripe opportunity to set me up with an eligible local bachelor. Or perhaps sending me an invitation merely reminded them that they’d been meaning to set me up with said bachelor for a while now.

At any rate, they did the shadchan-thing, and I was bcc’d on the email sent to the bachelor-in-question’s father.

The first half of the email was occupied with descriptions of my parents  so laudatory that even a teenager would have been proud to be related. For a brief moment I basked in the glow of such wonderful forebears. Then I eagerly rushed to the paragraphs at the bottom covering myself. Hey, I can always use an ego boost.

After a glowing introduction, which I thoroughly enjoyed (though it sounded vaguely familiar), the paragraph got down to the essentials. For starters, I was 21 years old.

Um, wait?

I’m going to be 23 in August.

I continued reading, and a sneaking suspicion snuck up behind me and started reading over my shoulder. Height as 5 feet 4.5 inches? That decimal point… The list of things I enjoy, that turn of phrase describing my goals in life… Yep, there was no doubt about it: this had all come straight off my shidduch dossier.

Not that I minded. I hadn’t seen this branch of the paternal end in years, so what else would they have to work with? But clearly, if people were going to be using my crib sheet as, well, a crib sheet, I was going to have to do some maintenance.

It’s not that I don’t update the thing. I’ve changed the references as more friends have gotten married and others have drifted away. I’ve updated my education as I acquire it and my employment as it changes. I guess it never occurred to me to scroll to the top and change my stats. I mean, my name hasn’t changed, my height hasn’t changed, and, um, what else is up there again? I guess my age. It changes. But not that often – only every 12 months. Why would I remember to change it?

I resolve to update my dossier next time I’m near it (I conveniently keep it on the family computer hard drive, which is now about 100 miles away). But then I think about the ramifications. I scroll back down the email to the list of my accomplishments. To do it all by the age of 23 – meh. No biggie. But by 21? Now that is impressive.

Hm. Maybe I’ll leave it for now.

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21 thoughts on “Forever 21?

  1. Bad4- I usually like your posts but the last 2 have been kind of insulting. I’m a 28 yr old single guy and by no means am I young or pretend to be. However, in your post about NEF #13 you thought it was crazy she’d be engaged after 22 after being “a perfectly turned out Flatbush meidel.” And now you think 23 is old. Dating is awful and there’s literally nothing I’d rather do less than keep going on dates. But your life isn’t over at 23 and it’s definitely not crazy to get married after 22.

  2. Usually – I do not think 22 or 23 is old. I assume most readers understand that. Using that as baseline, every comment on the subject can be accepted as mildly sarcastic.
    In other words – “She had the look down pat and still wasn’t engaged until (gasp!) the ripe old age of 22. Is there a hope for the rest of us?”
    As for this post: Nowhere in this post do I suggest that 23 is old – only that it is older than 21. And surely you can’t deny that?

  3. Make life easier for yourself, just put your date of birth…let potential dates do the math, so you never have to update it…

  4. Yep. I was weighing the pros and cons of staying 20. I mean, at 21 you get to do all kinds of mature and responsible adult things such as drinking and gambling, but it’s just older than I feel justified being. I’ll stay 20.
    Oh, plus I was contemplating buying some alcohol to celebrate turning 21, and I couldn’t think of anything to do with it other than give it to my father or sibling, and I figured I’d let them foot the bill for their own booze. If my friend was serious about taking me to Atlantic city for a vacation I might have to reconsider though. 😉

  5. Something Different,

    You should try the alchohol, it’ll give you a whole new perspective.

  6. A whole new perspective upside down. That’s exactly my point. A whole NEW perspective.

    BY maidels should add a punch bowl to those chanuka chagigas I bet more people would show.

  7. LOL about the punch bowl. I wouldn’t know, I didn’t attend chagigas.
    And double LOL about the diabetes. It don’t complicate anything. I’m a huge disappointment to my father, who spent the entire day yesterday offering to take me to the liquer store and offering me samples from his collection. 😉 Diabetes actually makes it easier to drink, cuz I can get drunk and then blame my behavior on low blood sugar.

  8. See, if there was a punch bowl you might have gone (and not only to drink but to watch the gals who did, SOME may have been very entertaining and if we could have gotten some of the morahs drunk…hey, darn this is such a good idea I wonder why we never tried it).

    Sorry, I know very little about diabetes exceptt that too much sugar is bad, sugar needs to be controled and alchohol=sugar. I really think you should try it at least to understand how/why some people become alcholics.

  9. Yeah, well I could see them not recognizing the alcohol factor and drinking to their heart’s content…makes for more interesting dancing than usual…

    And if you are interested, I wrote some diabetes myths on my blog. I am too lazy to get all the links now, but they were in January 2009. It was a series.

  10. Tembow – People say they never card at weddings, but I ALWAYS get carded. And I’m almost 23, been married 2 years, job, bills, all grown up…..it’s a little bit insulting. People tell me I’ll be grateful at 40. Well, that’s a long way off.

  11. pb – I’ve been as far along as tipsy, and hated it. I still don’t understand why people drink. Do you?

  12. Ok, I’ve decided. I’m gonna try for a drink at my next wedding. If they refuse cuz I’m not 21… Too bad.
    And LOL to HTTA. My father has suggested to us before dates that we should order some booze instead of diet sprite, just to see his reaction. I’m fairly certain that none of my very perfect sisters has ever tried it tho. 😉

  13. Bad4, yes. I’ve gotten seriously drunk. I’ve gotten just tipsy and I do enjoy an occasional glass or two of wine. I understand why it happens to people as best I can not being one of them.

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