OK, so a week and a drop ago I asked women to list the traits they look for in a spouse using the list below, and adding any if they felt it warranted.
- Facial Structure
- Body Build
- Social Grace
I should mention, the list was compiled by JPS, a guy. That would explain the initial non-inclusion of height, the inclusion of cleanliness (seriously, that’s a prerequisite! Or did he mean “neatness”?), and the inclusion of the bemusing “bravado.” Only a guy who watches too many movies could possibly think bravado is appealing. Character was also left out, but I have a theory about that one.
So, we all know that guys, in general (due to internal wiring), go for looks. The theory is that women, in general (due to internal wiring), go for kindness. The purpose of the poll was to see how it would rank.
So, the results:
There were ten women who responded. Four rated kindness their #1 item. Two rated it their #2 item. One rated it her #3 item. Only three didn’t rate kindness in their top 3 items.
Furthermore, except in one case, kindness was only bumped down from #1 to make way for intelligence. Now, shout out if you think I’m right or wrong (only if you participated in the rating), but when most people rate intelligence high, are they not really rating personality compatibility – meaning, someone you can communicate with and enjoy spending time with?
However, Mother in Israel has called upon her happily married friends to provide their perspective on the matter; feel free to check it out.
The other bump-downer was attitude.
My theory about character is that it was sort of melded in with kindness. Kind person has good character type of assumption. Correct me if I’m wrong about that too, people who made ratings.
To make the statistical leap, then, we can say that 70% of women rate kindness as one of the top three traits they look for in a mate.
So for all those guys who are trying to reinvent themselves in an appealing way: be nice.