The First Date Project (sticky – scroll down)

Descriptions of a first date from these PoVs: (Post yours below and I’ll update the list of links.)

Men:

Bored Jewish Guy

Jughead’s Hat

Shlomo

Shades of Grey

Solely in Black and White, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Harryer

Women:

(not) The Girl Next Door

Erachet

The Apple

Dr. Matriarch

REDTred

Bad4 part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Sefardi Gal

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26 thoughts on “The First Date Project (sticky – scroll down)

  1. Great posts- it was very interesting to hear their sides of it. I am no blogger, but here is my version:

    I always start getting ready hours in advance- just in case. First I stop by the manicurist after work to do my nails, and if needed, my eyebrows. Then I shower, blowdry and iron my hair and spend forever blowdrying my bangs so it is just right. With the help of my mother and sister(s), I pick out an outfit. I have no one specific “first date” outfit but there are some constants: nice dress (shul/vort worthy), nude tights and heels. Then I do my makeup, touch up my hair and wait nervously for the boy to arrive. When the boy does arrive, my parents speak to him in the dining room, the table laden with fancy chocolates and perrier. After a minute has passed by, it is my cue to walk down the steps. The second I lay eyes on him, I have already formulated an opinion. By the time we have reached the resturant/ lounge (it is usually 50/50) I have my mind made up 95% of the way. The last 5% of the way comes while he is in the restroom. I never go, but I appreciate it when he does- it gives me time to think. The car ride there and back is the most painful. I am usually nervous so it takes me a while to wartm up- I am always thankful when the boy is outgoing. Usually they are boring and spend most of the date talking about themself or (shudder) economics. I am considered more intellectual than the average flatbush girl, so people tend to set me up with these brainy, dry boys. If I don’t think it is going anyplace (which I often do) I always say no to a second date- what is the point? So far- no regrets: though I am still young, a large percentage of the boys I have dated are already engaged/married.

  2. You’ve gotta love the casual life in Israel. I don’t own “going out” clothes. My pre-date prep involves donning the clothes that I want to wear to the date when I wake up in the morning and going about my business all day with them on. Presumably I’ve showered that morning so I don’t have to deal with that. And I don’t blowdry my hair or wear makeup, so that’s off the list. I don’t have a thousand pairs of shoes,so I don’t have much a a choice there. And that’s that. Basically no prep whatsoever. I don’t feel I need to dress up to be gorgeous, I think it’s best to be myself. And in that state I met my husband. You really have to love Israel. 🙂

  3. sarah – when did nude stockings become 100% de riguer? I was at a yeshivishe chasana recently and I thought I was dressed 100% appropriately, except with my black outfit I wore black sheer stockings. I was the only one in the room not wearing nude stockings. I learned not to make that mistake again (until the style changes again) – but aren’t nude stockings less tzanua than black? It must be fine because there’s 100% adherence.

  4. tesyaa- i guess it depends on where you come from. what is “de riguer” for a flatbush girl is often not for an out of towner, or even someone from long island. for instance, my dates are very different than many of those described here. i have never been to a starbucks on a date, which on this blog seems a popular thing to do. and i have never been transported in some other vehicle than the boy’s own car. so just do what is the excepted norm in your circle of friends- and if that means black tights over nude, go ahead. though i have never heard anyone express that one is more tznius than another, but again that can just be due to the crowd i hang around.

  5. Bad4: תודתי נתונה.

    lawschooldrunk: ….I thought you had a blog. Looks like you don’t. Seriously dude, why don’t you get one? It’s fun, you can write things n’stuff..

  6. Nude tights aren’t req’d. Personally, I wear them to weddings because I don’t think the thick black ones go with my shoes, and I don’t own nude black and I’m not going to buy any soon either. I’ve seen them at yeshivish weddings, though.

    There is almost nothing about tights that has anything to do with hilchos tznius. It’s almost strictly tradition and community affiliation, though there are some (eg Oz Vihadar) who claim to make a psak, though upon no obvious basis. I believe it’s actually supposed to be “minhag hamakom” but that term has little meaning these days.

  7. schoolgirl-i agree with the “dressier” comment. thats the main reason why i wear them on first dates (and weddings). otherwise, i always wear black in the fall/winter months. even to vorts.

  8. Actually, I’ve heard that black sheer tights are worse than skin colored-sheer because then it is apparent when actual skin is showing through, since you know that it is not the tights that are white/pink(/whatever color your skin is)

  9. Actually, I’ve heard that black sheer tights are worse than skin colored-sheer because then it is apparent when actual skin is showing through, since you know that it is not the tights that are white/pink(/whatever color your skin is)

    Not trying to nitpick, but let me see if I understand: Sheer nude are better than black nude because no one knows if the nude color stockings are opaque or not. Even if they’re sheer, people might think they’re opaque, so that’s OK? It doesn’t really affect me, but I’m just curious.

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