Awkward Item #1 –
Getting out the front door always seems to stymie my dates. I have no idea why otherwise competent men, who doubtless tied their own wingtips hardly 45 minutes ago, are incapable of putting out a hand and turning a doorknob.
The way I figure it, when it comes to doors, the guy leads. If he’s very polite, he’ll hold it open for you. If he’s very yeshivish, he’ll walk through first. Either way, he’s handling the door.
So I pause by the front door and look at Guy.
Guy looks at me.
I look at Guy.
I open the door and walk out.
Can someone explain this phenomenon?
There are three options here –
- Guy doesn’t open car door for me.
- Guy opens it but goes around the other side, leaving me to climb in and close it on my own.
- Guy opens car door, waits for me to settle in, and then closes it, like some footman.
I think this whole door opening thing is stupid, but by now I’m beyond caring. I do find it amusing to note by which shita he’s been trained, though.
Guy starts jabbing at his GPS. I’m always impressed by a guy who actually knows where he’s going, instead of blindly trusting a computer program that I know is going to send him to the Prospect Expressway by the same bizarre route it sends all my dates. I ask where we’re going, and if I’m lucky it’s a conversation starter.
Awkward Item #2 –
Trying to find the happy medium between looking at him while you converse, as if he’s not driving and incapable of returning your gaze, at risk of being the gawker of the pair, versus turning your rapt attention upon the scenery, which will make you seem entirely disinterested when he does give a quick peek while sitting in the toll lane before the tunnel (because all GPSs send you to the tunnel even if the bridge is clear). (Whoa that was a terrible sentence. Sorry ProfK.)
BJG listed a few things he finds awkward about the trot between car and ultimate destination. I’ve never found any of them bothersome, so here’s my response:
Do you walk slightly behind date (manners [??]), slightly in front (clear path for her), or next to her?
Quite frankly, I don’t understand the idea of walking behind a woman, even if you’re guiding her through the mess – seems more like using her as a battering ram. And unless you’re actually using yourself as a battering ram, I don’t see any point in walking ahead. Chances are she is more capable of navigating crowded streets than you are, due to her sales days shopping experience. So just walk next to her (as much as you can), and at least she won’t be wondering what kind of weirdo you are.
Revolving doors: Unless we’re dealing with those huge ones that are practically wheelchair accessible, I can’t imagine any reason to get into the same compartment as your date. I wouldn’t do it.
Escalators: Yes, I always take the step below Guy. I don’t know if it’s just escalator etiquette (who takes the same step as someone else, in general?) or just a feminine thingy of letting the guy take the lead in the date. And, hello, aren’t you talking on the escalator? I always face my date and comment on the scenery so he knows I’m impressed with his choice.