As I’ve previously mentioned, I date many guys who have issues with food. And I feel that I may lack empathy for them due to not having a lot of food hangups myself, which could be a turnoff. (“You mean you won’t touch anything speckled? Even cookies n’ cream ice cream?” Incredulous raise of eyebrows.) So I have studiously searched for a food neurosis for myself. It took quite a bit of effort, but I’ve found a few things.
1 – chocolate covered jelly rings.
2 – anything that’s got fruit-flavored goop in the center surrounded by too-sweet dark chocolate. (Not to be mixed up with , in which the center is not goop.)
3 – mint patties. Truth is, I haven’t tried one in ages, because I rarely come across them. I don’t mind mint gum and toothpaste and mouthwash; maybe with all that unswallowable mint in my life, it’s just conceptually difficult to get the peristalsis going.
4 – cheez curls. I remember my friend used to bring them for snack all the time in elementary school, and I was always turned off by the smell. Her snack was safe from me, those days. And ever since we went to different high schools I haven’t seen a single cheez curl out of the supermarket, so while I have no idea if I like them or not, it’s safe to say that I don’t, since I’m unlikely to be tested.
So next time my date talks about the ickiness of orange vegetables, I’m going to concentrate very hard on not liking cheez curls so I can nod sympathetically. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I don’t like orange cheez curls, myself.” If I’m lucky, he’ll go, “What? You don’t like cheez curls? What’s wrong with you? This shadchan can’t ever get it right! Let’s go home.”