I’m of mixed feelings about hearing detailed explanations for why you’ve been dumped.
On the one hand, there’s always the chance that you’re completely clueless about something and you desperately need to be told about it, and maybe even you’re pathetic enough that you ought to be directed to a dating coach (dear God).
On the other hand, you might just be asking to be insulted.
And on yet a third hand (if you haven’t got one, borrow from a neighbor), you’re just asking to drive yourself crazy.
Because you’ll probably get some vague impression like “not my type,” “not long-term compatible,” or “didn’t seem to be enjoying” and then you’ll spend the rest of the week picking over every moment of the date trying to figure out what you said that wasn’t his type or that insinuated that you weren’t enjoying yourself or suggested that your goals were different when you thought they were identical.
Was it when you hesitated to order an appetizer because you weren’t sure if he was just being polite or if he wanted one himself or… or was it the time you played devil advocate and thought it was obvious but maybe it wasn’t? Or maybe the time you said that you wanted to go slum touring in Jakarta?
And so on. You’ll just drive yourself nuts trying to figure out where you went wrong.
And then again, on a fourth hand, this can be beneficial. Because by the time you’ve finished canvassing every second of the 3-hour date (10,800 seconds) for the point where you erred, you’ll have concluded that your date – far from being the Mr. Perfect you thought he was – is a conclusion-jumping, nit-picking moron, and you’re better off without him, so there.
And that can’t be all bad, can it?