Serendipity (ii)

In honor of Pesach, there’s this one from last year about why we want people to get married.

Aaah, Pesach. The whole family, packed into a single abode for three days straight, with two meals of enforced interaction per day…

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22 thoughts on “Serendipity (ii)

  1. “Anyone consider the fact that guys might not want to get married cause they’re gay?”

    Yeah, that’s a great idea, lets add to the pressure to get married young by saying that if you don’t you might be gay. Thanks a lot. [/sarcasm]

  2. If could change just ONE Halachah, I would choose to eliminate the extra day of Yom Tov that is practiced outside Israel.

    We are stuck with lots of illogical pointless minhagim, but that one, the so-called “Yom Tov Sheni Shel Galuyot” is by far the worst.

    After 25 years in Orthodox Judaism, I hate it with all of my heart and with all of my soul and with all of my might.

  3. Natfali – Oy. Sorry you have that attitude. I love Yom Tov, so I love the extra day we have outside of Israel.

  4. 1- what is the penalty for sitting at the table without speaking?

    2- naftali is obviously male; otherwise he’d have much higher-priority minhagim to eliminate (think chuma derabbi zeira and kitniyos).

  5. Dying a slow and painful death from not speaking, of course. Besides, you underestimate the determination to Make Up For Lost Time.

  6. Anyone consider the fact that guys might not want to get married cause they’re gay?

    This here is such a hurtful and damaging thing to think, let alone say. And it’s just thrown out there so callously.
    I was single for a long time, got married when I was over 30. I heard people saying this behind my back and insinuating this in conversation. I even had one person offer to help me with “my issues”. I never spoke to him again.

    Please think of those you are throwing under the bus with your thoughtless and frankly, ridiculous ideas.

  7. FormerAB – The person who suggested that was not saying everyone of the people who don’t want to get married at that point is gay but rather throwing in another possibility of a reason why a guy doesn’t want to get married might feel that way.

  8. Sorry but it is idiotic to say that guys might not want to get married b/c they’re gay. Sure, it could be true of some guy, but the damage that such a comment can do to older single guys should be obvious to anyone who cares about other peoples feelings.

  9. question? what does it mean exactly then when boys say they “enjoy being single ( at age 25) and dont really have an interest in marriage.”
    i was never able to decipher that one and find it weird that boys ( plural) feel the need to share this with a girl on a date. ( like why are you dating then)

  10. It probably means they don’t want someone eying what they wear and asking where they were last night, they’re terrified of the responsibilities of children, etc, they enjoy having Fun (see relevant post). But I guess they’re not fighting social expectations, and if someone really dazzles them, they’ll get married. But how likely is that? I’d just say “take me home, please,” after that line.

  11. right i deciphered taht for myself as well what im still trying to figure out is a) what are they trying to tell me? b) if nothing then why say it? – is it just a cool thing to say?
    ive had this from at least 3-4 guys ive dated!!!!! ( ussually 24-25 yr olds) hmmmmmm its as if I would say. “Oh being a wife doesn’t interest me, i dont want to ever cook or do laundry. I’d rather be single.” LIKE HUH?????

  12. “It probably means they don’t want someone eying what they wear and asking where they were last night, they’re terrified of the responsibilities of children, etc, they enjoy having Fun (see relevant post)” – Some of us are single because we haven’t found the right person yet. Did you stop to consider that possibility? I’d rather marry at 35 to the right woman than meet some arbitrary social standard and marry at 21, then either get divorced or be stuck in a relationship I don’t want to be in. The right person at the right time is the way to go.

  13. many women do start dating earlier than they want to. they’re not ready for relationships yet, which explains why they don’t usually get anywhere when they date, but who has ever heard of a 21+ female who isn’t “in the parsha”? so they accept suggestions to conform, and convince themselves they want to be married right then. later, they may get burned out and take breaks. many times i’ve thought that had it not been expected of me, i may very well not want to be married now.

  14. Leibel – so, you’d describe your interest in marrying the right person as “I like being single, I’m not really interested in getting married?” I hope not, because if you do, then you need a lesson in effective self-expression.

  15. I clearly stated that some other singles are older singles because they haven’t found the right person and that it’s better to marry the right person than marry to fulfill a social standard.

  16. But my response was to schoolgirl’s question about why her dates tell her that they like being single and don’t want to get married. I wasn’t passing judgement on every unmarried single. Especially since I’m one.

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