I Want YOU to Drive Me Crazy

“You drive me crazy half the time
The other half I’m only trying
To let you know what I know is true:
I’m only me when I’m with you.”
~ Taylor Swift, ‘I’m Only Me When I’m With You’
That’s family, right? The people who really know you and put up with you, mostly because they’re stuck, but also because they don’t mind you so much. Or maybe the two are intertwined. Because they don’t have the opportunity to run away as soon as they see something they don’t like, they get to know the rest of you better. And they have to admit that maybe, overall, you kind of balance out. Even weighing more to the positive side.
Seriously, what would happen if your parents or siblings could abandon you as soon as they saw something they didn’t like? None of us would make it past infant colic.
And in the opposite direction, somehow we get along with and even love our siblings despite the fact that they drive us crazy half the time. Or maybe even more than half the time.
How can you know if you want someone to drive you crazy for half of the rest of your life from a few hours sitting over coke in a dark lounge? How can you figure out if they balance out from such a bizarre and unnatural setting?

“You drive me crazy half the timeThe other half I’m only tryingTo let you know what I know is true:I’m only me when I’m with you.”~ Taylor Swift, ‘I’m Only Me When I’m With You’That’s family, right? The people who really know you and put up with you, mostly because they’re stuck, but also because they don’t mind you so much. Or maybe the two are intertwined. Because they don’t have the opportunity to run away as soon as they see something they don’t like, they get to know the rest of you better. And they have to admit that maybe, overall, you kind of balance out. Even weighing more to the positive side. Seriously, what would happen if your parents or siblings could abandon you as soon as they saw something they didn’t like? None of us would make it past infant colic. And in the opposite direction, somehow we get along with and even love our siblings despite the fact that they drive us crazy half the time. Or maybe even more than half the time. How can you know if you want someone to drive you crazy for half of the rest of your life from a few hours sitting over coke in a dark lounge? How can you figure out if they balance out from such a bizarre and unnatural setting?

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12 thoughts on “I Want YOU to Drive Me Crazy

  1. How can you know if you want someone to drive you crazy for half of the rest of your life from a few hours sitting over coke in a dark lounge? How can you figure out if they balance out from such a bizarre and unnatural setting?

    You don’t. You find out when you’re going to/coming back from the date, and something unscripted happens. In the words of the bard: “love reasons without reason” and brilliant flashes of insight just don’t happen in a formal structured setting.

  2. You can’t. That’s why the system sucks. And Taylor Swift has much better songs to draw inspiration from, but i’m impressed that you know this one.

  3. Would being in a restaurant help?

    The method to family is that blood is thicker than water; we share DNA, so they gotta love you no matter how many times you goof (and vice versa). For instance, my brother drives me . . .! You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your spouse.

    That’s why I suggest that the “love” between couples differs between that of children/parents/siblings. You are looking not for another annoying big brother, but for a counterpart for oneself, who fits the puzzle piece of the soul. I’m pretty much seeking someone with a shared background and perspectives on life. And the forgiveness available for siblings/parents/children does not always apply to spouses – they can’t goof and get away with dissing me the way my brother can.

  4. Totally unrelated (sorry), but I thought you’d like this, Bad4: my mom dabbles a bit in shadchanus, and I spotted, on the kitchen table yesterday, a piece of paper with “[Name Redacted] Shidduch Profile” on the top of it. Not “resume” – “profile“.

    [Derech agav, my mother isn’t being careless by leaving this stuff around for me to see or something like that; it was an older guy, and I’m in the market for a younger girl, so there’s nothing so wrong about me seeing stuff like that. If anything, I can help. (Maybe this addeendum was a bit paranoid.)]

  5. > In the words of the bard: “love reasons without reason”

    Where does the bard say this? I know Pascal’s version:

    “The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know. We feel it in a thousand things. It is the heart which experiences God, and not the reason. This, then, is faith: God felt by the heart, not by the reason.”

    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pascal

    But I can’t find your Bard version.

  6. Yitzhak: Cymbeline, Act IV, Scene II

    (Way OT: “Cymbeline” is by far and away one of my all-time favorite Shakespeare plays: a “greatest hits” medley of all the far-fetched plot devices ol’ Will used in his comedies & romances – also the only one that contains a song which Stephen Sondheim set to music).

  7. You don’t-but pray for a lot of unexpected or unscripted situations along the way-so you can sense that there is something special about being with another guy in a white shirt.

  8. With a long enough dating period, you can experience enough situations where the other person will have a chance to annoy you, and you them. If you made it far enough its a pretty good sign that he is fine with your annoyances. Or as a friend of mine told me, the reason why shana rishona you spend the evenings with your wife and not night seder is because for the few hours you spent with her, you have to spend equal amounts of time apologizing for everything you did/said wrong which made her cry.

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