I’m Ready to Be a Jewish Mother:

I routinely overestimate appetites and prepare too much food.

I know that’s not all there is to it – I also have to obsess over grades, but that’s old stuff. Anything else I’m missing?

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19 thoughts on “I’m Ready to Be a Jewish Mother:

  1. Making them eat all the food anyway even though they’re not hungry. Because you’re hungry from saving it all for them. (In the “I’m cold, put on a sweater” sense.)

  2. it’s not about being bad at estimating. It’s just that the magnitude of jewish mother food prep (in units of food-seconds) is described by a proportionality constant (heimishness*time available, units: food-seconds/love) multiplied by the amount of love they have for the people they cook for.

    in other words, jewish mothers express love for their families by cooking alot. I’m sure they know exactly how much potato kugel we SHOULD be eating. But they love us, so they make double.

  3. (Not meaning to be rude, sorry if it sounded that way. If I only knew any single frum guys willing to move to Iowa who know their way around computers and math (or wouldn’t be put off by a wife who does) I’d be sending them your way.

  4. While I am a Jewish father, I do the cooking, and I wonder if, as a young adult, you are seeing the effects of teen boys on “jewish mother” cooking habits. I used to be able to make a full lasagna stretch for two meals for my family of five. This week, it was wiped out in one meal, mostly by my sons (one of whom is a preteen). They are both quite thin, but very active with sports, so I don’t think they are overeating, just need fuel. The result is that I am making larger and larger amounts of food, in order to have some leftovers. When they move out for college, I’ll need to recalibrate bigtime.

  5. The problem is (and hardly unique to you) that you are more than prepared to be a Jewish mother, but wholly unprepared to be a Jewish wife.

  6. my mother and i both consider leftovers a liability, and, as such, ours were always gone by sunday at the latest. who wants to be tied to eating the same fleishigs all week? especially this week- i normally consider the statute of limitations on leftovers to be tuesday, but i couldn’t touch mine until wednesday night. who needs it?

    my roommate used to come from home with tens of tins of leftovers that even she could barely make a dent in, and indicated that her mother is just a really selfless person. i asked why it was a good thing to make so much food that it habitually goes to waste. i still don’t get it.

    israel FRAC- i couldn’t agree more with your global statement. unfortunate consequence of a saran-sealed, same-sex society.

  7. Pity my self evident observation remains taboo to discussion, particularly by the ladies. Let’s talk this out at least a bit. A significant population of our daughters are well prepared to become food Jewish mothers but let’s not deceive ourselves they are simply going to be dreadful wives, lovers and lifetime mates — particularly in an era of declining economic status rather than upward mobility. That was certainly not true of their grandmothers. What happened and where did we err so significantly?

  8. You didn’t “discuss” anything. What>/i> makes you think that we are producing “dreadful” wives?

  9. israel frac: “they are simply going to be dreadful… lovers”– so you must know this from personal experience then, i’m sure

  10. You need a husband first (it helps to get to step one before you think about step two). Also you forgot guilt tripping people “Fine I won’t tell you to wear a scarf and then you’ll get sick”.

  11. jake – loved that.

    Miriam P – no math or computers knowledge necessary. I’d be perfectly happy with someone who could write a good poem in iambic pentameter and fry the perfect crepe.

    Israel FRAC – can you get specific? As in, what basic skills or whatever do we need to be less dreadful? I’m sure there are others here who would like to know, as we don’t want to be dreadful wives. What does economics have to do with it?

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