Who Says What a Profile Has to Look Like?

(Or, for those who care: who says like what a profile should appear?)

Starting out at something new and significant is always a reason for nerves. You double check that you’re doing everything right and try hard to do things according to protocol and keep your toes on the white line.

…and then, after a while of that, especially when it turns out to have minimal efficacy, you get bored. And indifferent. And oh – seriously, who cares anyway? It doesn’t make a difference.

Which has to do with…

…the one document in the world that I despise so much that every psychological mechanism you’ve ever heard of – not to mention a few you probably haven’t – kick in to keep me from dealing with it.

Just a f’rinstance: ย I don’t keep it in any of my personal storage. Not on my flash drive. Not on my hard drive. And if you asked me, I’d claim it’s not even in my “sent” folder so – sorry, can’t get it to you. Additionally, selective memory kicks in every time I get within ten feet of it. I suddenly forget that I’m supposed to send it to anyone. It’s like a little switch in my brain closes, blocking that particular circuit off from the loop. And if somehow it slips through and I briefly remember, psychosomatic nausea overcomes and I require intense chocolate therapy before I can face reality again – preferably with part of it suppressed. And if I finally do open that [eugh] file (wearing gloves and using forceps) I can’t resist picking at it as if at a pimple. Deleting here, adding there, nudging some words around… In the same vain hope that somehow it’ll turn out better than it wasn’t before.

So the confluence of three events inspired a little rethinking. Event #1 was someone asking me for my shidduch information. Event #2 is a friend going on an artsy streak. Event #3 was Stupid Inventor mentioning drawing a cartoon profile.

Well, why not? ย I mean, it’s supposed to be a collection of important information about you, preferably organized in an easy-to-understand format. Who said that format has to be black and white and linear? Why can’t it be color coded and placed in a wheel, one segment naturally blending into the next? Or a collage, where adjacent items relate to a single characteristic of the subject? Or a painting? Or a flowchart? Or a song set to accompanying sheet music? Or micrography? I mean, seriously, those profiles are really one long snooze. Why not throw in a little personality? They could actually be fun to look at, like opening a new present. “Oooh, I wonder what she came up with.” And “Hey, I like this guy, he’s original!”

If we could get a little critical mass going, maybe we can turn those ol’ black n’ whites into an antiquated mark of shame. “Wha-at? Just this? What kind of guy did you set me up with?” And “Bo-ring.”

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25 thoughts on “Who Says What a Profile Has to Look Like?

  1. I don’t have one myself, and the one time I was shown a girl’s I thought, “really?”

    Although if you’re going raphical, might I suggest something like this? Just substitute the appropriate things in the appropriate regions. Not sure where you’d put dress size, though, unless “starving yourself” gets its own little niche.

  2. My cousin turned down a date with a boy because his profile was too “cute” and not conventional enough. Or at least that’s the story I got.

  3. Go for it! I hope you’re not joking. There’s no reason not to get as creative as you want to–the idea is to let someone get a sense of who you are, isn’t it? Doing something out of the box is a great way to alert a potential date to the fact that you are not ‘typical’–and if he laughs at your jokes or thinks your collage is awesome, chances are he’ll like you in person, too. And if he can’t handle the differentness, he’s probably not the one for you.

    I don’t have an official profile, but when once asked for my information, I decided to forego the typical boring fact list and wrote instead a creative and quirky description of things I like, dislike, care about, am interested in, etc. It didn’t seem to have any adverse effect–after seeing it, the guy was eager to go out with me.

  4. The art of the profile is putting as little effort into it as possible so people think you don’t have to try so hard. ๐Ÿ™‚ Those fancy ones are a real turn off…as if a cool font and border can make up for lack of substance in a personality.

  5. Love the idea.
    ZZTop- You obviously know the wrong guys.
    tesyaa- yes, girls are stupid like that, i got turned down by a girl after she saw a picture of me in my Purim costume. Which was great- if that’s the type of girl she is then I don’t want to go out with her anyways, it was her loss not mine.

  6. Stupid Inventor- Don’t wanna say, sorry, it’s only funny if you know my personality, otherwise it’s just wierd

  7. While my repugnance to such – ugh – “profiles” presumably matches yours, mine lives in my sent folder. I don’t edit it unless a reference goes hostile, and recently my sister-in-law threw in a minor fix. It helps to keep the details bare.

    I’d rather not give the – barf – “profile” a makeover. I’d rather march it out blindfolded and have it shot, or torched with fireworks. Ooh, aah. Pretty lights.

  8. If I were to compile a list for things I am grateful for (husband and children, of course, on top) I would include the fact that I was out of shidduchim way before shidduch resumes or profiles became an accepted part of the whole process. They really combine the worst of online dating with the worst of frum typecasting.

  9. Stupid Inventor – I tried that once and it got messy. I think some people couldn’t view it and replied to the entire conversation.
    Oh, I should have put in a link for you. Off to add it.

    And Male – I forgot to answer, but I don’t particular care if you want to wax pedantic. I try to be grammatical because that’s the best way to write, but it’s not a point of pride upon which my ego is based, so a little criticism doesn’t shatter me – or even disturb me particularly. So feel free.

  10. don’t forget what winston churchill said:”Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

  11. Pingback: There Goes the Neighborhood « Bad for Shidduchim

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