Can’t a Person Lose a Little Weight Around Here?

It isn’t Friday, so this isn’t really a repost, but Blobby’s post about people engaging her for no particularly good reason reminds me of  the other things you can do to get engaged before your time.

  • Dress up a couple of times
  • Do your hair/makeup a little more often or more extensively
  • Lose weight
  • Be unavailable for telephone conversation for a couple of weeks
  • Be busy in the evenings more often than usual
  • Examine household items in the store
  • Smile to yourself a lot
  • Say “I have great news!” or something along those lines
  • Tell people that you’re busy
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11 thoughts on “Can’t a Person Lose a Little Weight Around Here?

  1. Right before I got engaged, I saw one of my high school teachers at a wedding. She gave me this big hug and whispered to me, “You look great – what’s his name?” L’maisa, I was going out and got unofficially engaged a few days later, but I was still shocked that she could tell so easily. Maybe there really is something to it…

  2. “Can’t a person gain a little weight around here?” is what happens after you’re married. Seriously, you gain 2 pounds,and suddenly everyone is on belly-watch.

    Other things you can’t do after you get married if you don’t want the tongues wagging:

    -Be tired (if you are, don’t say so)
    -Be nauseous (keep quiet about your lunch not agreeing with you)
    -Pee more than 3 times while in the company of others
    -Mention ANY sort of ache, pain, or discomfort

  3. Also, married women (even in our 40s) have to avoid wearing any cute babydoll top, no matter how much they’re in style. A dress without a defined waist? Think twice.

  4. Thanks for the link. Although, that story didn’t happen to me. A reader told me. Although, if I protest again people will probably think I’m protesting too much. I did lose a bit of weight, but nobody would dare accuse me of something lile loosing weight for a guy.

  5. You forgot the most important one! Taking a hiatus from blogging! 😛 Okay, maybe that is a function of a paranoid readership… 😉

  6. Tesyaa, a friend of mine recently mentioned that one. She intended to avoid such tops after that.

    You can add shop for lingerie. Way before I was engaged, I accompanied my mother to such a shop. She wanted to buy a robe for her mother. But just being there makes one a suspect. Also buying white shoes is taken as a sure sign. I remember picking out a pair of white pumps I wanted for summer and was asked by a sheitel-wearing customer if I was a kallah. I wasn’t, but I did use the shoes at my wedding. No rule that the shoes have to be new. You hardly see them anyway.

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