Gentlemen, a word to you before you get married. You are not allowed to be critical of feminine dress. The only thing you are allowed to say about your wife’s turnout is “You look nice. No, of course it doesn’t make you look fat. Nothing – no, I’m not lying. Well I just said ‘nice,’ I really meant ‘gorgeous’ and ‘beautiful’ it just didn’t come out right. No, really…”
That is totally irrelevant, but I mention it because I noticed that some guys weighed in to criticize women for wearing too much black and brown back in this post (or was it another? It’s a subject that comes up often). Which is a pot & kettle accusation, as someone pointed out, unless the guys in question wear gray suits and white straw hats. But even then they really haven’t got a right to be critical. Not until they’ve actually gone shopping and tried to buy something for a woman.
Here’s what it’s like:
First you have to narrow it down to something tznius. So, that rules out about 85% of the store in the summer and spring, and 65% in the fall and winter. Once you’ve found something that fits your standards, it’s got to be a style you don’t consider completely hideous, or that makes you look fat, or that’s snug in the wrong places. When you’ve found the perfect style and cut, you eagerly sift through the rack, past the black ones, past the white ones… if you’re lucky, there will be gray, brown, and navy as well. Sometimes they throw in red or hot pink to jazz things up, or sweat-suit gray, or something equally unhelpful. And if by some miracle they have a color that falls somewhere between garish and depressing?They don’t have it in your size.
Story of my life.
Why am I whinging about this? Well, I always have to get in a clothes-related complaint during this season. I think it’s tradition by now. It’s the only time I ever completely hate the business of dressing up.