For the sake of accuracy and those who always think that the grass is greener: I am easily overwhelmed when it comes to gentlemen callers. Three pretty much pushes me to the limit. Four is enough to make me hide under my bed. I have never had reason to find out what happens above four, but that’s probably a good thing. My guess is I’d be writing about it in my therapy journal instead of online.
Averaged out over the course of the year I don’t think I go out with even one guy a month. So why can’t they come in measured increments like, say, one every month and a half?
It’s very disconcerting to know that if this one doesn’t work out, well, there’s another one after that who sounds pretty good, and another behind him who doesn’t sound half bad either.
No, I miswrote. It’s not disconcerting to know that. It’s quite comforting to know that. It’s disconcerting to find yourself thinking that. As in, “so if I’m not completely enamored with this guy, I just move on to the next.”
To which your other inner voice replies, “That is so the wrong attitude to have, darling.”
To which the first voice says, “I know, but it’s true.”
Second voice: “That doesn’t matter. You have to occupy a hypothetical space in which this is the only man available to marry. Could you perceive a future with him?”
First voice: “A very absurd thing to model in one’s head to contain dating decisions.”
Second voice: “Not much more absurd than projecting two voices arguing in your head to contain indecision or moral quandary. In fact, if you don’t submit to my superior argument then I’m going to intercede with the landlord of this head to evict you.”
First voice: [muttering sullenly] “Danged if I do or don’t.” [subsides into silence. Pipes up.] “But you do know I’m right and you can’t avoid thinking about it, so there.”
Second voice: [hands over ears] “Nahnahnahnahnah! I can’t heeeeeaaaaaar you!”
Of course, First Voice is right. It’s almost impossible not to think about. Isn’t there anything we can do about people bunching up to date around certain times of the year?