Those old posts were also significantly longer. Here’s one where I poll some friends on why they want to get married…
Request: After reading this post, please rate it below on a scale of 1-5, where one is “wow you were desperate for filler material” and five is “I’m going to bookmark this so I can go back and reread it every day.”
So, did the girl from the end of the post (broken engagement) end up married?
QED: Yes she did.
4 as well.
It’s funny – you know how it says that a woman has teshuka for her husband? Rabbi Forman (I totally recommend his book, “The Beast that Crouches at the Door”) explains that there are a number of beings who have “teshukah” – when one entity is so complete, that completeness desires to overflow onto others. The rain to the earth, Hashem to His creations, and such. Men, lacking a rib, need completion. Women are complete to begin with, but with that comes a desire to share it with others.
That could be the best reason for why girls want to marry.
But in today’s day and age? The motivation is “I don’t want to be a nebach.” I don’t want that to be my motivation. I want to go into marriage with open eyes, with the guy meant for me and not my relationship status on Facebook, and never regret it.
Someone please share with me 🙂
Does it actually say anywhere that women got the “full set of ribs”? Meaning when the “rib/side” was shaped why do you assume that women got a full set? (FYI, as far as I know men and women don’t actually have a different set of ribs, do they?)
צ”ף, Men have 12, Women 13. Or so I’ve been told.
I just looked it up in both Gray’s Anatomy (a very old version, though I doubt anything changed) and an Anatomy and Physiology book + did some googling and haven’t found any credible source (or any for that matter) that men and women actually have a different number of ribs.
What sort of form does this teshuka take? Because as far as I can tell, men and women want equally to get married, possibly with a balance on the male side.
If Adam lost a rib to be made into Chava, I’m sure Hashem gave her the short number of ribs as well, so he wouldn’t be jealous. Or we could assume loose translation, allegory, etc. Or that amputations aren’t hereditary. Lots of possibilities.
doesnt anyone want companionship? want to share their life with someone? physical intimacy? these were sad answers your friends gave and i hope that if you now asked girls a drop older they would respond differently. or i am very not religious because i do want to raise a frum family and all but i want a husband for purely selfish reasons.
Look, that’s what Rabbi Fohrman says. Read the book to see why and how Adam was incomplete. As for the literal rib thing, it could be allegorical. A part of him was taken to create her, so he feels lacking. Of course he wishes to marry, but the discussion was brought up originally why women wish to marry. Why would a complete being need someone else? It is not from lack, but an overflow of completion.
If you don’t buy it, fine. But it makes for a good Hallmark card.
“But it makes for a good Hallmark card.” – Awesome!!
5. Just stumbled across your blog and read that post. I thought it was really funny and thoughtful. I’m really looking forward to reading more of them.