Image Control

I was a bit put out to hear that one commenter’s mother thinks my outlook is too jaded. Me? Jaded? I’m not jaded. Jaded is when you’re bored by dating and are no longer excited at the idea of dressing up and meeting an interesting new guy. I’m always excited when I go out. In fact, now more than ever, because now I won’t go out with anyone who doesn’t sound exci… wait, that’s not jaded. That’s just experienced.

Okay, fine. Maybe a tad. This is why we have Friday reposts. To hearken back to the carefree days of skipping down Avenue J with nothing more weighty on my mind than the length of my skirt… and the Women in Black who were measuring it.

Yes, I know. I seem to obsess about dating. That’s cuz this is a dating blog. That means I write about things related to dating and being single and so on. It’s a topical blog, and that’s how topical goes. In real life I hardly ever talk about dating. Can’t seem to keep my friends from talking about it to me (as if I’m interested, guys! Well, just the bad date stories. Those I collect), but for the record, I’m not the one who brings it up.

Yeah really. Once Apple was picked out from a threesome of bloggers as the most likely Bad4 because she spent an entire afternoon complaining about crummy dates. I was just sitting there and taking mental notes. Thanks girlfriend! I got, like, three posts out of that afternoon. And complete anonymity.

Not that I’m perfectly contented. (And who is? That would stymie progress.) In my perfect life, I’d be engaged about now. But who ever lives their perfect life? In all the big things, I mean. Somehow the little things are always peaches and cream. But there have been times when I was very frustrated because life didn’t work out how I’d hoped and I was positive things would be – well, not rotten, but fairly mediocre. Of course they weren’t. In fact, every time, in retrospect, the way things actually worked out was infinitely better than how I’d planned them.

In fact, after a whole series of such occurrences I promised myself that I’d never plan again; I’d just go with the flow. That lasted about – oh – three and a half years. I’ve been really good about it, honest. But every now and then you hit an important crossroads when you just want to know. And I don’t.

So, does uncertainty stink? Yes. Am I depressed, obsessive, and miserable? Um, no.

If you don’t know me, you’ll have to trust me on this one. (If you do, be honest: am I?)


18 thoughts on “Image Control

  1. I don’t think that being jaded matters as much as not being cynical. Being jaded doesn’t generally affect a date and is easy to get past; being cynical affects one’s entire approach to dating.

  2. I have you marked down under both jaded and cynical, but if the comments bother loosely translate jaded to mean mature and worldly and cynical to mean realistic…changing the meaning of what other people say is fun 🙂

  3. Funny, because I’d been having similar thoughts about your blog recently (cynical, jaded). The two recent posts got me to thinking about it more. I think that you’re thought out and realistic… but the conversations in the comments often push the posts themselves into the negative-connotation zone.
    I’m not saying that you should discourage these conversations in any way whatsoever. Comments are the pulse of blogs, and everyone has a right to post what they want. However, after some posts the numerous “OMG girlfriend I totally agree, isn’t it just horribly awful?” comments end up changing how readers view the post. In reality, you’ve just summed up an idea beautifully and commenters want to agree/disagree, but it’s still Bad4’s blog and thus it reflects only on Bad4.

  4. I’m not a therapist and it is too hard to judge someone who I do not even know, so I don’t know how you truly feel and it would be inappropriate for me to give my opinion. (long sentence alert)

    I will, however, say that maybe it’s time for you to attend another ice cream meeting. Guys, chime in here if we can arrange a simultaneous ice cream meeting.

  5. Sorry, I have never smoked anything, don’t smoke, and intend to never smoke.

    I don’t really care for card games.

    Wait, did someone mention whiskey?

  6. (By the way, Glenmorangie 10 year old goes fabulously well with coffee ice cream, and almost all bourbon or tennessee whiskey goes well with vanilla ice cream.)

  7. I’d send the dudes to the Brandy Library. No ice cream, but you can try to impress each other with your taste in whiskey while bemoaning the laws that prevent you from smoking cigars.

  8. Bad4, I’ve been there many times. Many deals get negotiated or brokered there. Very nice place.

    Curious: Would you mind if your date took you there?

  9. How do you think I know about it? I haven’t brokered any deals there. On the other hand, I think my date got lucky. I can reel off all the right names of Scotches (having been specially tutored in the subject) and make appropriate comments about the complexity, flavor, and smoothness of my drink, so you almost can’t guess that I’d rather be swigging fruit punch. Most women I know wouldn’t even pretend. Also, I almost certainly insulted the maitre d’ by leaving over most of his (excellent) recommendation; it was my second drink and I was quite buzzed.
    In other words: I wouldn’t recommend it unless you know for certain your date would enjoy it, because she probably won’t.

  10. Wow, just checked out the menu. I’d rather buy a bottle and split it with my friend…but I would need to go once just to check it out. Now if only I could afford the $300/glass of Macallan 30…

  11. Once Apple was picked out from a threesome of bloggers as the most likely Bad4 because she spent an entire afternoon complaining about crummy dates.

    Wait, when did that happen?

  12. We’ve only met about four times. Once was in my house, once was in a lobby. That leaves two other options…

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