Top Ten Dating Lines

A while ago G6 compiled a list of most common household lines. It seemed like a fun idea to apply to dating. Because, let’s face it: there’s a lot of repetition in dating.

Sometimes, right after the “so which seminary did you go to” and following the “where are your siblings?” I begin to wonder if I haven’t been on this date before. Who knows? Maybe I’m caught in one of those infinite loop dreams. I’ll just sit in lounges answering questions about my older sister’s seminary choice over and over and over again forever… Oh look! I’m still drinking water and he’s still drinking diet coke. It really is an infinite loop!

Here are a few lines that come up in every loop of the dream:

“So, where to?” This is usually the first thing I say to a guy, once we’re out on the front porch. After “thanks” if he ushers me through the door first. I do recall one time when I did ask a different first question. He was from out of town and, weirdly enough, there was a beat up red pickup parked in front. Who could resist?

“That yours?” I asked.

“I’m not from that far out of town,” he protested.

I think the most common question I get is “So, what exactly do you do again?” As if I knew. Homework, mostly. It is always closely followed by “So, where do you plan to go with that?”

My standard answer: “Out of town.”

The “Do you have any siblings?” line of query bores many people. Its purpose is usually to save a flagging conversation. I don’t mind it, and I like serving it right back at my dates. Let’s face it: when you’re really interested in a person you want to know all about them and where they come from. Siblings may be completely irrelevant before you meet, but once you’ve decided you like someone, they’re as relevant as his favorite Dr. Seuss book, the tree house he built when he was ten, and where he grew up. That said, if a guy fishes this question out on a shidduch date, chance are quite good it’s a sign of conversation failure, not relationship success.

“Is that a parking spot?” Yeah. The hazard of dating in New York City. Usually this is answered by “No, it’s a hydrant – you can see it barely poking out above the garbage bags.” Or “No parking there for another half-hour.”

Shall we go?” That’s it – it’s over. Sometimes this line is met with relief and a hasty rise and donning of the coat. Other times it’s met with an incredulous glance at the watch and a truly astonished “It’s already midnight?”

Okay yeah, that’s only five. But you know what? Top ten lists are hard to write. Somewhere around seven or eight you get stuck and wind up IMing random people to ask for help and that still only gets you to nine. At which point you get desperate and come up with a really weak one, which you tuck in as #6 hoping people won’t notice it there, and then you sit back. Nobody ever does comment that Β “six seems a little weak” so you assume nobody realized, even though probably everyone did.

Well, what’s the point? Here’s five. If you want a top ten list, fill in the last five yourself. I’m content to leave it only half-populated. I’d change the title to “Top Five” but that just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

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25 thoughts on “Top Ten Dating Lines

  1. “Why didn’t you go to seminary?”
    “How do you want to raise your children?”
    “Co-ed or single gender schools?”

  2. You shouldn’t have to ask, “Where to?” You should have been told beforehand where you will be going, or at least been given a choice. How else are you supposed to appropriately prepare for the date? (Isn’t “Oh, the bathroom is this way” the first thing you sometimes say to a date? ;))

    I do not think there is anything wrong with asking about siblings even before you’ve “decided you like someone.” Siblings help give context. I disagree with your interpretation of this neutral question.

    New York City can intimidate, or at least confuse, and if your date is not from NYC, and you presumably are, why shouldn’t your date ask you about a parking spot? You are the indigenous species. Compare it to a date who has no idea where he is going in your neighborhood. I assume you would want him to ask you for directions instead of trying to figure it out for himself.

    Do all your dates end with, “Shall we go?” How unoriginal.

    So what DO you do again? (If you don’t know, then your date certainly doesn’t know.)

    And, no one said you still have to drink water. That’s your self-imposed constraint.

  3. LSD – I wasn’t complaining about any of these lines. Just saying that they happen often. And yes, I prefer water to almost every beverage out there, with the exception of Perrier, which tastes like it came out of a toilet tank and is an embarrassment to the aqua specie.

  4. hahaha every single one of my dates contain these questions and i always get that deja vu feeling like huh didnt i do this already A MILLION TIMES!

  5. “How do you spend your summers?”
    “You wanna hear a geshmake rav chaim on last weeks parsha?” Ok maybe that last one is just me,

  6. “What year did you graduate high school?”

    “What time do you wake up?”

    “Why do you like cycling uphill more than downhill?”

    “Can I get that in a venti?”

  7. You know what I’d LOVE to do? I’d love to just state it out in the open during the date and say, “doesn’t this sorta feel like de ja vu? Let’s try to have the most non-typical date possible!” I say honesty is the best policy. Everyone’s just so afraid of messing things up that they stick to the unoriginal boring lines! Let’s shake things up a little and see where that takes us. I have a date Iy’H coming up..if I have the guts and the guy seems worth it (or not worth it if you catch my drift) I’ll try this out and let you know how it works πŸ˜‰

  8. “How do you get to work every day?”
    I don’t know why but everyone I meet (not just dates) needs to ask me that.

  9. FF – but what on earth will you talk about? πŸ˜‰ Let us know how it goes.

    LSD – why do you like cycling uphill?

    soul – no, not just you… well, maybe just you.

  10. Okay, I’m biting. How do you get to work every day? Or should I ask, where do you work that people wonder?

  11. The question regarding siblings does not make any sense – any shidduch profile, or basic introductory conversation by someone pitching idea – usually gives a quick run-down of family (parents, siblings etc. I can understand a question regarding sibling relationships or if there is something quirky/fun to talk about like a family full of single gender kids, having twin siblings – or being a twin, being the sole gender child of a larger group of opposite gender siblings etc.

    I’d say that I used to have many revolving around New York being interesting at first, but rather boring and hectic having lived here for a number of years (I usually went out with fellow OOT’s).

    Similar date locations and similar date activities – like going to Ripley’s or Toys R Us in times square – really engender similar/repetetive openers and conversations.

  12. I took a date to the empire state building stair running race. She fell behind around the 16 floor and I’m still looking for her. I guess she thought the date was repetitive. (pun intended)

  13. Manhattan. Trust me, my commute does not make for stimulating conversation. But it’s still the one of the first things people ask me, for reasons I have yet to understand!

  14. I get the “so what exactly do you do again?” a lot. followed by “what made you choose that field?” Its usually followed by “I’ve never heard of it until now”
    (serves me right for picking a specialty field)

  15. Actually, my most common follow-up question is: “So you get to blow things up?” As if “demolition” or “military” appeared anywhere in the title.

  16. That’s basically the answer of Demi Moore’s character in G.I. Jane, when asked why she wanted to be a Navy Seal.

  17. You are funny! Thank you again! May you be zoche to always bring smiles to others, and very soon to your husband.

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