I was sitting and chatting with a bunch of pregnant women.

Said pregnant women being my MFs, of course. We were yakking about such wonderful bits of nature like morning sickness and stretch marks and I almost said, “Gosh I wish I was pregnant.”

The statement would have been meant to be ironic, considering the the subject matter. But I bit it off at the tip of my tongue because what if they took it to be a hint that I found the conversation insensitive? Or as a piece of self-pity? I was so terrified of this that I choked it back and instead introduced the comparison of shea butter versus cocoa butter.

And a minute later one of the MFs said, “I bet you wish you were pregnant, Bad4.” And everyone laughed.

I heart my friends. Why was I worried?

8 thoughts on “Paranoia

  1. I’m sorry: You “heart” your friends?

    It’s going to take a lot of grammatical and syntactical prowess, along with high vocabulary, to make up for that misstep in my eyes.

    Death to LOL.

  2. LSD, you’re a few years behind the times if “heart” is drawing you ire.

    Bad4, all I have to say is: Baruch atah hashem…shelo asani isha 🙂

  3. What did you think of the movie, I Heart Huckabees? That’s the first time I heard the word used like that.

    MCP, if only you knew how hard it is for me to attach USB cables to my typewriter.

  4. My God. “Heart” is not textspeak. It appears on the standard NYC souvenir t-shirt. I heart NYC, so there.

  5. Yes, it APPEARS. It does not speak. If it did, it would faintly whisper…love.

    Please, have a heart.

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