Friday Repost: It’s All About Status

Status must have been bothering me in August 2007, because I wrote three posts (albeit brief ones) about how people are treated differently when single.

The first was about being a girl versus being a woman. This bothered me. It still bothers me. Especially when my grandmother refers to a pair of 70-year-old girls who are coming over for a Shabbos meal. That was when I began making an effort to eliminate “girl” from this blog, except when referring to minors.

The next was about status discrimination. Meaning, the perception in the orthodox workplace that unmarried women are not as fit for responsibility as marrieds. That one is rare, but irritating when you’re facing it.

Finally, I posted about the odd custom of using “Ms.” for single people and “Mrs.” for marrieds when filling out place cards at a wedding. I think at my own wedding I’ll just “Ms.” them all.


Please rate these posts on a scale of 1-5, where one is “you were desperate for filler” and five is “I forwarded this to my friends.”

6 thoughts on “Friday Repost: It’s All About Status

  1. your grandmother referring to her friends as girls is quite different from people referring to you as a girl because you’re not married, davka because she’s so old, it has a different meaning

  2. Natalie Angier (Women: An Intimate Geography) points out that their is no female equivalent to the word “guy”.
    “Guy” is an informal term that can be applied to any male from around puberty to beyond senior citizenship. The only status it denotes is “one of the group.” While Angier hopes against hope that the word “gal” will make a comeback, your grandmother is probably using the word “girl” in a similar way as “guy.”
    Very different dynamic.

  3. “That one is rare, but irritating when you’re facing it.”

    Employment discrimination based on marital status is beyond irritating; it is illegal.
    This is so important I’m posting this comment twice.
    I suggest a lawsuit.
    If you can’t be bothered for the principle, then do it for the money, and let the rest of the world benefit from the principle.

    (Although lawsuits, I suppose, are bad for shidduchim…)

  4. Lack of knowledge on the part of those who use Ms. as an abbreviation for Miss–it isn’t. You’d be perfectly fine in using Ms. for all the women at your wedding since it merely denotes being a female and has no reference to any marital status.

  5. I’m a believer in tradition, can’t put up with radical feminism, and never got the memo about Ms, so I use Miss and Mrs. After all, some people have to work hard for their “Mrs.” and I want to show respect for their efforts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s