Friday Repost: Among the Unliving?

Does life begin when you get married? Why do so many young people seem to think so?

 

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10 thoughts on “Friday Repost: Among the Unliving?

  1. Think Jane Austen.

    A woman couldn’t work, for the most part, and all she was trained to do from birth was run a household. In recent years that mindset has changed, but there are probably many traditional homes in Europe where a girl has nothing much to do until she is wed.

    What did Elizabeth Bennet do in her spare time? She took many long walks.

  2. Life obviously doesn’t begin post-marriage, but in a certain sense, it does. It’s a completely new stage in life.
    Most frum singles:
    -won’t move out until they get married (or reach their 30s)
    -don’t feel like they can fully bond with their married friends (and children) until they’re married
    -don’t have a status in the community until they’re married
    -can’t have kids until they’re married
    -etc.

    Starting a family is one of the bedrocks of frum society. On a spiritual level, a single person is missing the other half of their neshama. On an emotional level, a person feels lonely without a spouse.

    Nobody wants to be the outcast of the community, nobody wants to be an incomplete soul, and nobody wants to feel level.

  3. One thing that depressed me about that post was seeing Brianna’s comment. It was so much better when she was orthodox and making criticisms from within our community. I followed her blog and her going off the derech really took me by surprise and seemed to come out of nowhere.

  4. everyone’s always waiting for their life to start. single people think they have no life because they don’t have someone to share it with, and married people think they have no life because they have a spouse/house/child to take care of. we’re either waiting to finish school, or find a job, or get a raise, or have kids, or for kids to grow up….

  5. “there are probably many traditional homes in Europe where a girl has nothing much to do until she is wed”? Seriously?!? I sure hope it’s a joke.

  6. I definitely understand this. I just got engaged and there is a lot of my life that has just gotten started. You wait till you have that intimate of a relationship with someone that you can truly open yourself up to allow them in. Then tell me that you were truly living life beforehand.

  7. Princess Lea, but Jane herself chose not to marry. She broke her engagement of one day’s duration. She wrote and published, as did a number of women in the 19th century. Also you’re thinking of women of a particular class who stayed home. Poor women always had to work, whether they taught, sewed, or went into service.

  8. A different phase of life begins upon getting married.

    Later on, another different phase of life begins upon having children.

    Much later, another phase of life begins when all your children leave the house.

    And so on, and so on, and so on, …

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