Friday Repost: Violence

These two were posted in quick succession, and both are fairly violent. I must have been feeling frustrated.

Im Yirtzah Hashem By You – this post is notable because it catalyzed the success of BadforShidduchim. It was posted up at SerandEz and on DovBear, which brought in something like 200 hits in a day, and bingo, I was big time.

Survivor – Well, I’m still a survivor, according to this post. Oddly, nobody sees it that way anymore. It’s more a “yeser hapleita” type of surviving, with lonely, post-apocalypse connotations.

Please rate the post from 1-5 where 5 is awesome and 1 is drivel. 

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6 thoughts on “Friday Repost: Violence

  1. just had this conversation with my daughter the other day. Out of 114 girls in her class, graduation 2008, a full 35 (1/3!!!) are already ‘gone’, i.e., engaged or married. And it only took 3 years!! So the pressure to “start” is already there. After all, they are 21! and the “new crop” of girls are going to be coming back from sem in about 6 weeks…..just recently, the new crop of engagements has started. After all, ‘the freezer’ was opened about 2 months ago, so the seeds planted then are bearing fruit. The girls getting engaged are 1 to 2 years YOUNGER than my daughter. It is a very bitter pill to swallow, watching my daughter’s self esteem plummet as she perceives her “market value” to be plummeting along with each new announcement or wedding invitation received in the mail. I comfort myself with the notion that she is not like the other girls and is not looking for the type of “boy” or type of life that these “boys” would have to offer her at this point in time. Hashem will take care of her. So yes, I bless her with “Im yirtzah Hashem by you, in the right time with the right person”. Coming from mom, this sounds like cheerleading, but is really a fervent prayer and a plea for perspective. Can’t you see me waving my virtual pom-poms? BTW, there are 3 out of 25 from my BY class who are still “yeser pleita”, 30 years post graduation. And a couple of divorces too. Bitter fruit indeed….

  2. As opposed to “You’re too fat/thin, smart/dumb, boring/unusual, poor/rich, ugly/beautiful, frum/modern, shy/outspoken to ever get married”?

  3. Bad4,

    No. As opposed to the situation I’m in.

    To clarify: You’re right that ‘Im Yirtza Hashem By You’ is not a nice comment. I just think that this constant pressure to get married young without true thought being given to what happens afterwards is counterproductive. There’s all these young people desperate to find their bashert who never consider the difficulties that can come afterwards. As someone who’s living that afterwards, it’s a blessing to have inconsiderate comments as your biggest worry.

  4. Honestly, it bothered me a lot more when I was in my 20’s. Not that I enjoy hearing it any more, but I just sort of mentally roll my eyes and move on. (I know most people mean well, but even when it doesn’t come across as patronizing it is still embarrassing.)But anyway, it certainly isn’t my biggest worry. Just a passing annoyance at this point.

    SJG: while I don’t disagree with the principle of what you have said, you could say that about many different challenges in life.

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