Reason Not to Get Married: Sheitels

So what if your sheitel is unnaturally thick and luscious? So what if you can see the back of it without two mirrors? So what if you can style it without getting a crick in your neck and tired arms? Raise your hand if you actually want to wear one of those things.

Anybody? No, not you, balding dude. This question was for the single women.

Reasons We Don’t Want to Wear a Sheitel:

  • It’s boring.
  • It has straight hair. Can you see my yawn? Why run a brush through straight locks when you can wrestle with kinks and waves and maybe, with luck, come up with something that looks just as nice?
  • It has limited styling options. I mean, I can go for a pompadour. Or an updo. Or a half-pony. Or a side-pony. Or a regular pony. Or straight down. Or pinned on the sides. Or a lot of stuff. Granted, I generally don’t. But I can. Nah-nah to the sheitel which is stuck with limited options. You want that down, or mostly down? Anything else will cost you a new wig.
  • It’s uncomfortable.
    • No ad-hoc ponytails on hot and sticky days. The back of my neck is cringing in anticipation.
    • Those combs and clips and things that keep your real and fake hair in place. Ouch.
    • It’s like a fur hat, only hairier. Nice in the winter, when it’s not raining. At every other time: eugh.
  • It’s hard to wear.
    • You look like you’re wearing something on your head for the first few months. I wonder why.
    • The front hairline. The ears. The pony bump in the back which you must have because if you cut your hair short the thing won’t attach. The odd way the hairs stick out when it’s not on right.
  • Its hard to care for.
    • Mistakes don’t grow out.
    • Style changes cost a lot more.
    • You’re at the mercy of the sheitel-macher who is going to make you look like a clone of everybody else no matter how silly the current fashion, and charge you through the nose for it.
  • It’s bad for your hair.
    • Wasn’t this supposed to be about your hair being your crowning glory? Not any more. Now someone else’s hair is, because yours is going the way of old soldiers – it’s fading. The replacement will never gray or thin with age, and this will look strange when you’re 90 and have the hair of a twenty-year-old.

Now nobody can accuse me of seeing greener grass. I can see it yellow everywhere when I want to. Or maybe different patches are greener on different sides. That’s life.

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25 thoughts on “Reason Not to Get Married: Sheitels

  1. Oh, and thanks for reminding me about the pony bump … now I’ll be self-conscious all day.

  2. Bad4:
    Why the stress about sheitels – scarves often look far better!
    However, for the married woman working in a non-Jewish environment, the wearing of a sheitel offers perhaps the least obtrusive means of correctly applying the halacha while ‘fitting in’.
    Keep up the great writing!!!

  3. Did you forget about the pony sheitel? And sheitels don’t have to be straight either- many people have one straight, one wavy.

  4. The replacement will never gray or thin with age, and this will look strange when youโ€™re 90 and have the hair of a twenty-year-old.

    90 year old women who don’t wear sheitels dye their hair…

  5. Any wig hairline can be fixed by bangs.

    That is true. But not everyone looks good in bangs, or wants to wear bangs the rest of her life.

  6. I say, go with scarves. They rock.
    ๐Ÿ˜€ I have a billion in different colors to match, and with all the fun ways to wear them, you can’t go wrong.

    I saw the most stunning curly sheital recently- really true curls and crimps- and then the lady showed up the next day with perfectly straight and luscious. Try doing that with your real hair!

  7. Snoods and pretied tichels and scarves and berets. I rarely wear my sheitels and am soooo much more comfortable in a pretty snood. Good thing I live out of town and work from home I guess.

  8. I suspect that the worst thing about wearing a shietal is that it strips you of some of your individuality.

  9. I love hats. And scarves. Like a billion times more than sheitels.

    Plus, I think the point in a woman covering her hair is reserving it for her husband. Covering it up with more hair just doesn’t make sense to me, though that won’t stop me in dating/marriage. To each their own -and that includes a woman I may date/marry.

    I’ve been told that there are negative long-term effects to wearing sheitels too -like hair thinning/loss -though I wouldn’t have much of a comparison for sheitel vs hats vs scarves, etc.

  10. Oh, the irony of pony sheitels. They are meant to be comfortable, but they take way too long to put on in the morning (you have to slide in the comb in the front, brush your hair under it, hide your side hair, clip the back, clip the sides, hold down the sides, make a pony, and pull the back down again so the clips don’t ride up. Sometimes I’d rather just put on my “down” sheitel even though that will mean the hair will be in my way the whole day, but it saves me 5 minutes in the morning. Pony sheitel does not equal putting your hair into a pony!

  11. My mother cuts her hair pretty short and just leaves a portion of hair in front so that the sheitel catches/attaches. Just thought I should throw that out there.

    In general, though, I do feel bad for frum women. Although, I’m told you get used to it.

  12. I agree with Anon613-London. I am not as heavily invested (and I meant that literally as it has become the norm to shell out $2K or more for a sheitel) as other women are. I always have some that are wearable, but most of the time I wear pre-tied tichels or hats (especially when I want to get extra sun protection). They are much more comfortable, economical, and low maintenance. I also end up wearing my fall with a headband (no hair out on purpose and certainly not deliberately combed over the hairline) because it is more comfortable than a full wig and also simple enough for me to wash, dry, and set myself.

  13. I own a ridiculous number of sheitels (3 fulls, 2 falls, 2 of which I got for free) because when I first got married, I was desperately trying to be satisfied with them. Even so, I wear tichels almost all the time. Comfy, pretty, easy. But sometimes I feel like I need to wear sheitel, for a wedding or just because I want to feel pretty or for a job interview, and then I’ve got options. Usually, I end up going for my first sheitel because since I got it redone (the initial cut was awful, but then a friend of mine who was practicing cutting sheitels gave me a free cut and it looks AMAZING now), it’s the comfiest and nicest looking one.

    Anyway, overall I echo everyone else’s sentiments: Wear tichels.

  14. You know that you can be married and not cover your hair at all, right? (GASP!) Also, if covering your hair is to save it for your husband, why not save everything for your husband, including your face, voice, opinions etc? And shetels are for men and women who have lost their hair from chemotherapy, not healthy, happy young women.

  15. This is why I won’t be covering my hair when I am married. You are supposed to be ATTRACTIVE to your husband, not have brittle, disgustingly dead hair. Still laughing from Miriam’s comment though. Seriously, muslim women cover everything to save it for their husbands. Here’s an idea… why don’t we just require men to wear blindfolds when in the presence of a married woman? Problem solved.

  16. I just read this and I have to say…I look BETTER in my sheitel than I do my real hair. My sheitel is thicker and fuller, it doesn’t look like a stringy rat by 2PM like my real hair. And my pony sheitel is so comfy and can even be worn down. They are not cheap, but I did not go for the outrageous ones, either. Getting ready in the morning is faster. I can shower at night and in the morning put on the sheitel and go…and look better than I would if I spent half an hour styling my hair.

  17. Penina – I’m pretty sure there’s also a post called “Reasons to Get Married: Sheitels.” ๐Ÿ˜‰ I argue both sides of the coin. And on *that* post, all the marrieds complained about how hot it is, and how after getting caught in the rain they feel like they’re wearing a wet raccoon.

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