Conversation on the Couch

Good4: I wish I could set you up with Single Dude!

Me: Why?

Good4: Well he’s perfect for you. He’s studying architecture, he’s gingy, and he’s geeky and a little awkward in a cute way.

Me: Sounds right up my alley. Why can’t you set us up?

Good4: Well, he’s only a year older than me.

Me: So why don’t you go out with him?

Good4: Well, he’s in college, he’s a redhead, and he’s geeky and awkward.

Me: Oh.


25 thoughts on “Conversation on the Couch

  1. Snort. So true, in many ways. I suppose it’s a good thing you and your sister aren’t competing over the same guys. She’s anti-redhead? I thought that was a European thing.

  2. Wait, why can’t you go out with him? How much younger is good4? You wouldn’t go out with someone younger than you?

  3. In my opinion, if people aren’t COMPLETELY serious about setting you up with someone, it shouldn’t be mentioned. It just gets your hopes up (even just for a second) for no apparent reason. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard of guys marrying girls 4 or more years older than them, but still…it’s highly unlikely…I guess this conversation (as do so many i’ve been through) requires an appeasing nod and a fake smile, quite similar to the reaction one has when talking to a foreign person. 😉

  4. I think she should set you up. Four years, while more significant in the 19-24 age group, will end up being meaningless at 56-60. If you hit it off, you might even start out with the advantage of working for a few years before having kids (if he wants to finish college first). That could set you up for a much more comfortable life financially, as well.

  5. I wouldn’t rule it out. As pointed out by conservative sci-fi a 4 year age difference is no big deal later in life. That and redheads are awesome.

  6. Based on your experience you shouldn’t date guys of your age and slightly older too, am I wrong?

  7. No. Guys my age and older didn’t work out for a variety of reasons. Guys younger than me, mostly for the same reason.

  8. Dude questions – What stops you from going out with a younger guy?

    Bad4 answers – Experience.

    Wanna get married? Well, the first thing you need to learn is that every single person is different and should be judged on their own merit. Therefore any personal experience you have with people previously has NO BEARING on what experience you may have with future people. Sheesh!

  9. I agree with Mark that one shouldn’t judge everyone around by simple categorizing and social grouping such as age or body type. Everyone is different and unique and you are also different on the course of years. What was true yesterday is not anymore today.

    Ever since I got engaged in year and a half ago and married little later, I’ve been telling my friends who are just getting into shidduchim or have hard time there, that Jewish dating is not about finding a perfect person. There’s no one perfect in this world starting from you. Many of the oh so important things that matter during dating don’t matter post-engagement and vice versa. Make sure there’s nothing in the person that will not let you live with them until 120, and if there are things that bother you about them think if you may need to change yourself to accept those things as is instead of making a problem out of them.
    – The facts that the guy is very messy or the girl puts too much make up are not reasons to say no.
    – Mental issues, smoking, drinking, being on totally different edges of hashkafos – yes.
    – Small differences in hashkafos? Most probably not a reason to say no, even if pressured. Especially if girl is on the higher level, the guy will grow from her.
    – But if you want to move to Israel in 10 years and he/she is not planning to – that’s the most stupid reason not to get married – no one knows where they will be in 10 years.
    – And love grows geometrically with length of marriage.

    Here are couple of books some of which I would suggest to read to anyone regardless of whether you are dating, engaged, married, or not even there yet:

  10. Sheesh back atcha. I still go out with them. I have to, since I now get set up with guys only between the ages of 23 and 24.

  11. Why are they setting you up only with guys ages 23-24? That also makes no sense!

    If you are 25, they should be setting you up with guys ages 23-30 or so. That “widens the playing field” and will have better results.

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