Thursday Links

I like this paragraph from BoSD’s post on shidduch secrets. It has very little to do with shidduch secrets, but it reminds me of my First First Date (FFD) and all the care and panic that went into getting everything just right. (Doing things Right never came naturally to me, so I always freaked out a bit when it seemed essential.)

The next morning ushered in a frenzy of activity for Gila and her parents. Mrs. Silver polished every piece of furniture, even those in her basement playroom. “You can’t be too careful,” she thought to herself.

Gila did her hair carefully, pinning it back into the most tzniusdik style she could think of. She tried on every article of clothing in her closet before finally deciding on the same outfit she had decided on three weeks ago when the shadchan first called. She took out her tehillim and sat down to wait.

Mr. Silver hummed as he selected a tie to suit the occasion. “Tonight,” he thought to himself, “I may meet my future son-in-law.”

I know this one is exceedingly old, but every time I go back to Erachet’s blog looking for something new, I skim it again. I like it.

Before I was dating JH, I used to feel very frustrated. I felt like no one could ever really love me the way a boyfriend loves a girlfriend, the way a chatan loves a kallah, the way a husband loves a wife. I hardly ever got attention from boys (well, except for a few strange ones) and I did not really believe anyone I could ever love would ever love me back.
When I would look at engaged couples, I would think, “They’re so lucky. Their life is set. They’re going to have a beautiful wedding and then sail off into the sunny land of married people.” I don’t think I was alone in feeling that way.
What I realize now is that I (and I am certain many others) used to focus on all the externals of engagement and marriage. The bridal shower, the wedding, the attention, the beautiful gown, the attention from a boy, the walks, the dates, the romance. All these things are external. Even the idea of having a male person there for you and in love with you – that is wonderful and important (and don’t say I didn’t say so!), but it is only one aspect of the bigger picture.
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