Wanted: An Arrogant Jerk

I’ve always wanted to marry a nice, slightly geeky guy.

I’ve gone out with oodles of them. It turns out that the Jewish nation produces no shortage of nice, geeky men. But I never get anywhere.

So I think I’m going to give up. It’s time to date another genre.

“Maybe jerks,” I suggested to Frumgirl1. “There’s something about women liking jerks (which I’ve never understood), and presumably there isn’t much competition for them.”

She considered the idea with care. “Well, make sure their jerkishness stems from arrogance. Men tend toward arrogance naturally, and it fades with life experience. So it’s one of the safer negative traits.”

Well, a girl’s got to start somewhere. Can anyone find me a nice arrogant chap?


16 thoughts on “Wanted: An Arrogant Jerk

  1. Ah, yes, the desire for the slightly geeky. I know it well.

    Despite my inability to find my own, the arrogant jerk never appeals. I’ve had a few lined up back to back, and I still hope for the nerdy.

  2. My sister just got dumped by one (the week they were supposed to get engaged) so I know he’s available. Plus he comes with extras: complete self-centeredness, limited empathy, lack of appreciation, and rigid, unreasonable demands. I’m telling you, you’d better grab him before someone else does! (The sad thing is, he probably *will* be off the market again soon, because he presents well at first and makes a lot of money).

    I also like nice, slightly geeky guys (I married one, in fact) — I wonder if it’s evolution at work — Jewish women who like geeky guys are more likely to get married and pass on their geek-preferring genes to the next generation. 🙂 Not that evolution exists, of course. 😉

  3. I can’t be arrogant full time (it’s too much work), however I can be amoral, avaracious, manipulative and can spin things in such a way that evil is good and good is evil(Business School will do that to one’s personality) . Will that work?

  4. Any idea of what does (or doesn’t) happen that would lead you to “never get anywhere” with these guys?

    Einstein defines insanity as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. Perhaps some consideration of changing expectations, or methods (doing something different) may change the results… without forcing you to give up on the slightly geeky nice guy you’ve always dreamed of. Or maybe it’s just them. Who knows?

    I’m not sure “nice” and “arrogant” are tremendously compatible… though I admit that may just be my own doubt.

  5. A lot of girls look for the arrogant type, because they are flashier and externally more appealing. What girl doesn’t drool at that guy flashing a smile while dancing in middle of the circle?

    A wise person once told me to look for someone who would hold up a bucket for you while you vomit. Something tells me that arrogant guys who are into themselves (by definition, they are!) will not do that. A nerd would totally! Like it or not, nerds make great husbands!!!

  6. Totally not related to the post but had to let you know about this-
    Today on the radio (I’m pretty sure it was radio kol chai, Israel’s Jewish/charedi station, but not sure since I was sitting in the back of the car) they were discussing the problem of older singles and I’m pretty sure one of the guests invited to present his opinion was advocating overturning the decree of Rabenu Gershom and allowing men to take more than one wife. The basic premise was that since women are no longer dying in childbirth or being massacred in pogroms there are just too many women out there to each have her own husband, they just have to start sharing.

  7. What makes you so sure an arrogant (pri*k/un-gentleman) would be inclined to date you? If you assume people only date types they are familiar with, birds of the same feather…, then the two of you wouldn’t really have much commonality. However, if you believe opposites attract, sure, why not give it a try… although I still don’t see how you’re going to convince one to go out… Oh, and for the record, I agree with Chan, nerds most definitively make for better husbands. 😉

  8. Your pickings will be greater with the new genre. I can’t seem to find many of the nerdy types around Flatbush but there’s certainly no shortage of the new improved type.

    I had lots of “friends” of that type they made for great dates, good bragging rights but they’re mostly divorced (at least once) old men today. Do you still think it’s a good idea?

  9. Thats easy! Date one of the million and a half nice jewish boys going to law school. thats a sure fire way of finding a jerk 🙂

  10. Sometimes, you gotta treat a girl like dirt so she’ll stick to you like mud.

    Being a nice girl normally who’s tried it, it’s really annoying that it’s as effective as it is.

  11. It’s the opposite. The jerky, manipulative ones are super sweet at first, then once they reel her in, THEN they treat her like dirt.

    @#7: Whoever that jerk was, I can be sure he wasn’t an older single woman.

  12. Sorry, I thought you lived in Brooklyn?

    call local shadchan, request current yeshiva guy looking to learn indefenitely and requesting support for said time frame.


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