The argument began over here, at SiBaW. The question: who is more mature, single people or married people?
Some people seem to think that maturity is like pregnancy: you either are or you aren’t. Or that it’s like the original Model T: if you have it, it must be of a specific form and color.
Maturity comes in different forms, and people can mature in different ways. There are people who are externally very strong, who do well in the workplace, and so on, but who are emotional midgets. There are people who emotionally very in tune with themselves and others, and who completely stink at life. Some people manage both. Some neither.
There are single people with organized lives and apartments, and married people who live in pig-sties.
There are people who can organize and coordinate extra-curricular activities for six children under the age of ten, and there are people who can organize and coordinate a product launch on six continents, and these are not always the same people. Some people can’t do either. Some can do both. Some of those who can do both aren’t married and don’t have their own children.
Even people who seem mature can have bouts of immaturity. Parents, for example, can easily reduce their adult offspring to kvetchy, whiny creatures.
Of course, it’s all been said already in the comments, so go over and take a look.
…and yuh huh, even my mommy says so!
The funnest part of this article (which I arrived at via Princess Lea) is this paragraph:
Not your usual private eye, Mr. Levin is a practicing Orthodox Jew, a member of the Bobov Hasidic sect and the founder of T.O.T. Private Investigation and Consulting, a New York-based company that specializes in Orthodox-related cases worldwide. The company, whose focus is uncommon — and perhaps unique in the United States — hires forensic experts, former homicide detectives, photographers and even pilots, mostly on a per-case basis. Its services range from investigations into international banks and Israeli investment companies to local background checks for prospective Shidduchim, or Orthodox marital arrangements.
Only a chossid would become a private eye… And apparently some people do go for the FBI background check.
I should have pounced on that. I wonder how much the FBI has on each of us.
Wow! A chassidish Sherlock Holmes! Will someone write a mystery series based off of him now?
As for maturity, I think you are right in that it is a complex quality that is different for every individual and that it doesn’t automatically change based on one’s marital status. When I was still on facebook I would see married “girls” playfully fight on their statuses over who’s husband was “better.” On the other hand, when you are living on your own, whether or not you are married, you are forced to take on yourself the responsibilities of maintaining your home as well as yourself, even if you have the luxury of having a maid. So you may mature in that you learn to take responsibility for yourself and others in some areas but that doesn’t necessarily indicate the person is emotionally mature.
Fantastic insight about maturity not being restricted by age or status. Horrifying shidduch investigations- what have we come to?