I met someone who had decided very early on to give up on getting married.
She realized that she didn’t have the physique, the looks, the femininity, or the vulnerability. She is smart, talented, independent, and difficult to impress. In other words, she knew no guy was ever going to propose to her.
So she went on with life.
No shadchanim. No dressing up for the neighbors. No trying to toe the line. No sticking to communities populated with single men. Nothing held her back. She was free.
In many ways I am jealous of her. Untethered by hope, she can move methodically forward to a clear, well-defined future. How pleasant it must be to never wonder and never wish for the unattainable.
How terrible it must be to never wonder and never wish—to know with a morbid certainty that you are to remain single forever.
Is it possible to never wonder and never wish? Can even the most cerebral person accept with a cool conviction a future unpartnered?