I didn’t renew.
After nine months of trial, I let my SYAS membership lapse. In those nine months there was a grand total of one guy who I yessed who yessed me back, and he never called.
I asked some other people what their stats were for the site. Most of the conversations went something like this:
Me: How many dates have you gotten out of it?
She: You mean like, actual dates? Um… two.
Me: So you’ve had phone calls?
Me: How many?
She: Oh, maybe ten.
Me: Over the course of how many years?
She: Um… [starts counting, stops] I don’t want to think about it.
Right. So, I’m batting a better average than that just sitting in my armchair waiting for people to call. And for this I have to pay? Not happening. See ya, Sinai.
I am a 23-year-old male.
In about one year, I got 146 suggestions. I accepted 47 of them and 14 of those said yes. 13 resulted in one or more dates.
See also http://joshyuter.com/2011/03/22/judaism/jewish-culture/jewish-dating/the-statistics-of-shidduchim-a-case-study-in-futility/
I got a phantom email, saying someone suggested a guy for me and so please join SYAS. My father insisted on giving me his credit card, and I dubiously joined. I found the whole process violating, that unseen eyes are sifting through my information. The guy was rather off base (I don’t get it when they call themselves “lean/slender” when the photo obviously shows a beer belly). I changed my status to “inactive,” and regulalry receive harassing emails saying that my status means no one will be suggested for me. Uh, yeah, that’s the point.
Additionally, a shadchan for SYAS told me on TWO separate occasions to email her my resume and when I did, she emails me back that I have to join the site. Why couldn’t you tell me that in the first place?
I’d rather tranquilize a guy and drag him back to my cave.
I have dated about five or six guys from the site, and I guess a few more if you count guys who my friend went out with through the site and then set me up with. This was over the course of around 2 years. So I guess that is a larger number compared to your experience, but it still is relatively small, especially considering that I pay for the site every single month and sometimes receive no match suggestions at all for one, two, or three months at a time. And yet I can’t bring myself to cancel because, well, it can’t hurt, right?
for what it’s worth, my daughter-in-law’s sister is in an ad for the site and I think she met her husband either first hand or second hand through the site.
I have been a member since January 2010 and have received 279 suggestions of which I accepted 70. Of these 15 said yes and there were four that resulted in dates of which 2 were long term relationships. One problem with the site is the frequent disregard for my criteria of living out of town due to school and being unable to relocate at the present time.
I signed up for SYAS a couple months ago myself, and it wasn’t an easy experience, so I switched over to YUConnects. I’ve had a lot better experience with them. I’ve found that meeting and talking to the Shadchanim/Shadchaniyot has significantly improved both the quality of my suggestions and getting to an actual date. Maybe it’s just something about having human interaction.
That being said, I still get a large number of suggestions that don’t take into account my preferences or even the things I won’t compromise on, and so I find myself often repeating statements and making mantras out of sentences I’ve already listed in my profile.
Having spoken with the Shadchaniyot, I also realize they expend a LOT of time and effort, and for that I extend my appreciation. If nothing else, I knowing that these people are looking out for me gives me a lot of comfort. Perhaps, again, that’s just something about having human interaction.
Lea – The guy was rather off base (I don’t get it when they call themselves “lean/slender” when the photo obviously shows a beer belly).
Aha. Women do it too!
Are you suggesting that somehow there is something wrong with the guy because his mental view of himself is lean/slender despite the reality being somewhat different?
Bad4, I’ve been a long time reader, first time commenter. Just want to let you know I met my kallah and Saw you, and will soon be married. It works for some people, and i think it depends on who your shadchan is.
I personally wouldn’t join, but two of my friends met their husbands through the site. It helps that one of them was set up by her mother who became a shadchan on SYAS for that reason!
Is anyone else at all freaked out by the fact that a murderer met his ex-wife on SYAS? What does that say about the site in general? Or are people just writing it off as a bad coincidence?
I was a shadchanta on sawyou. There were 2/3 females and 1/3 males. The overwhelming majority of females appeared normal. Close to half the males did not seem normal (i.e. one posted a photo of himself shirtless – like, he’s trying to look hot for all the married women? – one posted a cartoon photo of himself, one was scary looking….) I couldn’t bear to suggest most matches, and the good ideas had been suggested. They told me that I a) was not allowed to set up the girls with guys not on the site, even if the guy didn’t want to join and was a great guy and b) they asked to hear information about a guy who I said should be kicked off the site because I thought he had mental problems based on a LOT of info I got about him from rabbis and women he dated, and then they said thanks for sharing, but we don’t plan to kick him off the site or do anything and c) they said I had to email everyone on my list EVERY week or two to tell them I had nobody to set them up with so they wouldn’t think I was ignoring them.
I did meet some nice women, fun to talk to etc. and maybe things have changed….
Did you notice in these comments, the guys are saying, I got a lot of dates! which proves my point.
Leiby Kletzky’s killer and his wife: another sawyou success story!!!!
Those of you who know some people who did get married should also know I know lots of people who got engaged and broke it off thru sinai. It doesn’t work for everyone, that’s for sure. But I guess some people figure it doesn’t hurt to try. It should be free though.
Bad4, I don’t usually read yr blog, I’m busy, but set up an email account 4 yrself so pple can send you suggestions. I have one for you. Are you 24? ‘cuz the guy is 30…
bert – they said thanks for sharing, but we don’t plan to kick him off the site or do anything
How can SYAS distinguish between this and an angry ex claiming things about a person on their site?
Bert – I have got an email address.