He’s So Not My Type (1 of 2)

Someone at work gave me a heads-up that HR will type us all using the Keirsey Myers-Briggs method. Trying to stay ahead of the curve, I took out Please Understand Me II, took the test (it’s awful), and read up on my type. Keirsey claims my type has a rough time dating, so I flipped to the dating chapter for further details.

Quick overview: The M-B method types people by giving them four letters (get yours here).

The first letter can be I(ntrovert) or E(xtrovert) – does the person get energy from interacting with others or from solitude?

The second letter can be iNtuitive or Sensing – does the person deal predominantly with the concrete and actual or the abstract and theoretical?

The third letter can be Thinking or Feeling – does the person based actions on cool facts and logic or relationships and impressions?

The fourth letter can be Judging or Perceiving – does the person like things hard, fast, and nailed down or open, changeable, and free?

Keirsey then divides the 16 possible types into four main subdivisions. There are the

Guardians (SJ) who are the pillars-of-society type. Moral and straight-shooting, they always know what the right behavior is and they do it. They can also be stodgy and have difficulty understanding people who are not Guardians.

Artisans (SP) who are life-of-the-party type. Fun and creative, they spread joy wherever they go. They can also be hedonistic and live for the moment.

Rationals (NT) who are the nerdy type. Cerebral and absorbed by their ideas, they are also detached and disinterested in social mores.

Idealists (NF) who are the romantic type. Believers in truth, beauty, justice, and love, they pursue self-actualization and tend to be disappointed with almost everyone.

Now here’s where it gets interesting:

Keirsey claims that Guardians and Artisans tend to pair up. This matches the observed social pattern of boring but successful men/women snagging hyper and fun-loving women/men. One partner brings stability, the other excitement, and the two understand each other because they’re both S-types.

Kiersey then claims that Rationals and Idealists also make great pairs. They communicate on the same N-type wavelength which includes art, philosophy, and social theory, among others. Cynical NTs admire the relentless idealism in Idealists and Idealists admire the grounded rationality in Rationals, so mutual respect is guaranteed to last.

Since Guardians and Artisans make up more than ¾ of the world’s population, it’s fairly easy for them to match up and marry off. Rationals and Idealists are few and far between, and therefore have a harder time pairing themselves off.

Now, I don’t buy this theory completely, but it’s got delicious potential. And I’ll go into that tomorrow.

He’s So Not My Type part 2


18 thoughts on “He’s So Not My Type (1 of 2)

  1. I’m pretty sure you’ve had posts before about MB.
    The first test you linked to is awful; the second is much more realistic. Every time I’ve taken it I got INTJ but the first link had me as Guardian and that’s so not me.

  2. Ezzie – I’ve been an enneagram person. It’s easier for the newbie. But I like M-B too. They both have advantages in describing people.

    guyinla – I had the same problem. It’s those N/S questions. They’re weird. My sister had issues with them too and she’s an S. Also, some we are conditioned against just because of life. Like, “do you see disorder or opportunity for improvement” – if I made it past a corporate interview, I sure as heck know to see “opportunity for improvement”!

  3. Hey
    It’s the first time that I encountered somebody talking about myers-briggs on a shidduch blog and found it quite interesting.
    I’m into the system many years and I find it to be ingenious, especially the Kersey’s approach to it.
    The S-N distinction is the mose important one and he was the first to spell it out. That distinction really cuts society in half.
    Myers-Briggs totally doesn’t touch the ambition variable so you need to rely on other systems/thinking for support.
    For example both a simple nurse and a king of the world can be ENFJ.
    From my experience it seems that INF are picky.

    And rabbi michael: INFJ and INTJ are quite distinct so make up your mind.

  4. I really don’t understand these tests. When I answer the questions I feel like they aren’t really yes or no- my reasons for having a messy desk are quite different in origin and practice than someone else’s. And once you know your type, then what? I’ve read Awareness Awareness Awareness Awareness (if that’s what it says on the cover that’s what it should be called) and similar stuff. But still I’ve always felt I was missing something- is it just that personality psych is not for me?

    Also I was looking at the lists of famous people with the same Myers Brigg type- and any system that gives you a result where Johnny Depp and Barack Obama are the same personality type, people really take seriously?

    But if I’m being too skeptical please tell me I am willing to listen to arguments here.

  5. I have been interested in the Enneagram since ninth grade (2003) and find that the second link’s result describes me more specifically (as a Counselor compared to a 4 with a wing of a 5). Very interesting!

  6. Pingback: He’s So Not My Type (2 of 2) « Bad for Shidduchim

  7. I happen to be a fan of personality type theory (whvh should not be judged by some of the tests used to determine type, since those are frequenty awful) but one of various proofs that the entire field is pseudo science is that each variant of the same jungian types has different and sometimes entirely opposite theories of what types work together in relationships…

  8. Love the MBTI test and theory! That Keirsey website has lots of interesting stuff. I found this little blurb, which I thought was kinda interesting:

    “Rational women tend to be late bloomers on the dating scene. They are sometimes unaware of or don’t wish to follow cultural norms which dictate what is considered feminine. As they get older, men often appreciate their logic and general lack of emotional outbursts, along with the fact that Rational women tend to clearly state what they think and want.”

  9. I took the test on Keirsey’s site and when I signed in afterward to get my result it showed that I had already taken this test in 2003! Is it a good thing or a bad thing if I am the same Guardian SJ as 8 years ago??

  10. I see no problem with that.

    It’s eye-opening to me how many women I’ve dated are ignorant of their meyers-briggs type. I think it would benefit dating couples in understanding themselves and their dates.

  11. Rabbi Michael Tzadok –

    Lol, yeah apparently I am also an INFJ, actually the only feeler at work which was bad because they separated us into groups and suddenly I was labeled as a “feeling” guy. My boss never lets me forget this.

    But they also said that we are only 1.6% of the population, or the smallest personality type. My sister says that’s why I’m still single. But I did never hear the, “Idealists (NF) who are the romantic type. Believers in truth, beauty, justice, and love, they pursue self-actualization and tend to be disappointed with almost everyone.” LOL!!! That is so true for me! Especially since I don’t like anyone I date, but love everyone else I meet 😛

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