I’m Old – I’m Young – I’m Old

NASI, our local favorite do-gooding organization for singles, has come up with yet another dollar-driven plan to marry us all off.

For those not in the know, NASI is the North American Shidduch Initiative. They believe strongly that the Shidduch Crisis is an issue with numbers, but they also believe that it can fixed with numbers – number framed in green and in close proximity to a president, preferably.

NASI is regarded by this blog as a well-meaning but misguided fellow – the sort you’d pat affectionately on the head while explaining why yet another one of his crazy schemes won’t work. After all, they (whoever they are) do try hard. And they do seem to believe that their ideas are absolutely amazing. One imagines their little think tank arguing things out in an ivory tower before enthusiastically bursting forth to purchase full-page ads, without ever running them past a real, live person.

At lunch one day, Finance Manager was holding forth on the sorry state of the single scene in her life. She explained that all she wanted was a guy with a job and all his teeth and not a total jerk, but she couldn’t find one and that’s why she was still single. “Me too,” I agreed. She cast a cold glance at me, as if to say, “Did you hear mewling from the nursery?” Embarrassed, I realized two things:

(1) I was 25, which was probably a good 7 years younger than her, and too young to get married by her standards and

(2) I look about 20 and have the job generally held by an entry-level 21-year-old, which made my comment even weirder.

I’m used to being practically middle-aged, but her approbation jerked my life back into perspective. Hello! Bad4! You’re not that old yet!

Then, last week I see this little announcement by NASI. It’s yet another scheme – this time a GAMECHANGER! They’re going to marry off all those over-the-hill grannies (well, not grannies obviously – great-aunties?) with their latest and greatest Shidduch-Crisis-Solving Scheme.

Who are those old maids? Well, their scheme starts with the 22-year-olds…

Ouch.

Hey Finance Manager, don’t look at me like that. I am way old and single. NASI even said so.

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15 thoughts on “I’m Old – I’m Young – I’m Old

  1. Apart from the obvious questions relating to safety of funds deposited with NASI, including whether they are even licensed to take deposits, as well as exactly which Roshei Yeshiva are endorsing the scheme, it would be helpful if proper information was provided about the apparent success of their previous initiatives.
    Transparency breeds confidence!!!

  2. Great idea NASI – like we didn’t know rich girls can already get more dates than poor ones. Check out Orthonomics blog which discussed this to death.

  3. Wow, i seem to be worth $11,000! I have never heard of NASI before and wish I never had. Totally ridiculous.

  4. Yeah, the 22 starting age is just one more “ouch” factor in a program full of them. So basically, if daddy can fork over thousands of dollars to pay a shadchan you’re more likely to get engaged. Remind me again how that’s different from the system as is?

  5. I read an article in the 5TJT about it – actually a clarification answering all the criticism that the first one provoked – and I couldn’t believe how insane this thing is. it’s hard to know where to begin, but I would think the fact that it seems to be utterly anonymous, and is asking people to fork over $5000 to be a good place to start.

    One of the questions was that if this thing takes off, then won’t people who don’t participate be blacklisted? Why set someone up who you can’t make money off of, when you can set up people whom you can? The answer was: Yes! They will be blacklisted! That’s why it’s such an awesome idea! If it works, then everyone will realize they need to join! And what if you can’t afford $5000? Oh, of course you can! Wouldn’t you beg, borrow or “do something else” (that’s the euphemism he used) if you knew that you’d get married? I mean, sure, there must be no one who is having financial difficulties who doesn’t have access to an extra $5000 to sit in some anonymous bank account, while they can’t pay the rent. Not even possible. I think there were about 25 separate other problems, not to say that the “age gap” as the source of the “crisis” is patent BS.

  6. It’s cute how this guy has a God complex. He’s claiming to take the place of the ultimate matchmaker and save the world and ask for money for the honor, and there are some people who are actually going along with it.

  7. The only thing NASI promises is that if you fork over the money they give you a list of shadchanim… so what’s to stop someone from just photocopying this list and handing it out to all their friends? Or better yet, anyone can compile a list and sell it on ebay to the highest bidder.

    My favorite line in the ad: “All money is guaranteed”. Guaranteed what??? They don’t actually make commitments to anything, other than putting your name on a list. How is that a game changer?

    It’s sad that once again, the onus is on the girls. No one is asking the guys to pay for the privilege of getting their name on a list. As if we’re the problem…

  8. “what’s to stop someone from just photocopying this list and handing it out to all their friends? ”

    Maybe because it’s WRONG?

  9. Don’t worry, it’s still free now; just don’t opt in with them. I’d venture to say that most shadchanim don’t buy into the idea that there should be money put in escrow before we will talk to you, or that with each year, a girl should pay more to get married.

  10. ditto to all, especially princess lea. That was my sentiment precisely. So he thiunks He can succeed where he assumes G-d is ‘failing’ (chas vshalom).
    Anyway Mr Nasi, poor old nebach single girls don’t need people like you to ‘make us feel worse.’ We know our worth and it’s way beyond your measely sums.

  11. Pingback: Friday Repost: My Age is Relatives | Bad for Shidduchim

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