My Solutions to the Shidduch Crisis

Let’s convert the doomed Chinese singles. There are all these Asian and Indian men who will never marry because of sex-selective abortion by an entire generation of parents.

Forced association with SMFs will turn everyone off marriage forever and possibly make them Pavlovian-puke at the very thought.

Polygamy, duh. If there are too few men to go around, why not permit double-dipping? In many polygamous societies the multiple wives band together and create a sisterhood. Imagine always having someone to go to with questions about your hubby, always having girlfriends to hang out with, and always having spare hands to help with the housework. It could be worse.

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13 thoughts on “My Solutions to the Shidduch Crisis

  1. Funny as always, but I wonder if all your exposure to the shidduch scene has given any analyses or ideas that actually could be used to address the problem. Even something requiring grandiose restructurings would be an interesting direction.

  2. Converting non-Jewish men would work if more born Jews were willing to marry gairim. The fact is more often than not we’re viewed as some sort of underclass for born Jews to kick around because we’re “inferior”, all those pesukim which talk about the equality of converts and born Jews notwithstanding, because you know that idea’s a suggestion, not a mitzvah.

  3. Leibel: the senseless bigotry you describe is by no means universal. As I’ve pointed out to other geirim, at least you know for sure that you are Jewish! Who knows what’s lurking in any of our maternal backgrounds?

  4. No sane guy would marry two women. It sounds like a guys dream come true, but when one thinks about it means it’s a bad proposal. You’re in two relationships, your expenses are doubled, and you’ve got up to twice as many kids to provide for. The extra “fun” a guy would get is outweighed by all of that extra responsibility and stress.

  5. Leibel, to play devils advocate (and in case Random Shadchan decides to fwd this to my wife), first of all, 2 wifes means extra the income. Also, I love my wife, I would have no problem having 2 of her! On the kids thing, Rashi in Parshas Noach says that all the men used to marry 2 wives – a pretty “trophy” wife, who was force feed birth control herbs; and another “child bearing” wife, who was not as pretty and/or skinny. This way they wouldn’t ruin the looks of the trophy wife. One wife can cook and take care of the kids, the other wife can work full time.

    I’m not saying that we need to do it that way, just suggesting it as a possibility.

    Feminists, you may now attack.

  6. MCP – Why do you assume that both wives would work? Then it would be more mouths to feed.

    And I don’t think one has to be feminist to object to polygamy. Just simply female.

  7. Gemara shabbos ( i dont remember which daf, something around daf kuf) warns men not to have two wives, but if they do get a second wife to marry a third. The reason the gemara gives is that if he has “just” two, chances are they will get upset at him and conspire together to kill him. However, if he has a third wife, there will definitely be one wife he will warn him of the others impending plans….

  8. MCP:

    I would never do that – I like your wife too much to forward this! You could not do better next time around, or even as well. (And that applies whether she dumps you after reading this, or you decide that two are better than one.)

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